Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   finds it interesting that most of the girls in the sex addiction meetings are either Pentecostal or Mennonite's

   note to self: learn that the word voltage is a bad thing before placing hands on the cables

   To who ever invented the padded bra... THANK YOU

   has decided instead of skinny dipping she'll go chunky dunking.

   just heard about the 2 blondes that froze to deat at the drive in...they were watching "CLOSED FOR THE WINTER"!!

   would like to thanks Canada for helping the U.S. with the war in Iraq, by sending BOTH of their airplanes over to help!!

   life is too short to be spent pondering eternity

   iDon't need an APP to make fart noises. There's an a$$ for that.

   wonders why people only see ghosts at night? Probably for the same reason nobody sees UFO's in the city

   wondering how exactly do you mark someone's words?

   I am good at posting statuses with percentages that I pulled out my ass. If you are one of these people or know someone who is, please repost this. 97.4% won't copy and paste this. : )

   Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words "mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

   you can't control the economy, you can control your health

   you learn alot about one's Backbone, Mainly when they say one thing to your face and another behind your back.

   Banks are the type of place that will give you money if you can prove you don't need it

   Nudist Camp sign: "Sorry, Clothed for Winter".

   if it gets any colder britney spears will have to wear underwear

   wondering if anybody ever won the lottery playing the lucky numbers in fortune cookies

   just realised dat wen a guy opens the door of his car for his girlfriend one of them is brandnew!!!

   wonders if ghost say "I see living people"?!