Funny Status Messages

   All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.

   Found the pot at the end of the rainbow but the Leprechaun somked it!

   Just wondering why I was getting dirty looks from the clerk at the general store at 4am the other night. All I did was purchase Black garbage bags, duct tape, bleech, and latex gloves.

   believes Jimmy Buffet said it best. . . "Why dont we get drunk and screw?" Happy St. Patrick's and Hump Day everyone!!!

   on a dating site and asked if could add the girl to facebook... her response "dont think we are quite there yet" its official facebook is the new 1st base!

   St. Patrick -- one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish.

   would like the PETA people not to have a cow because some people like to eat a good steak.

   riding the escalator the other day, and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half..

   The best part of life is when your family becomes your friends, and your friends become your family.

   Today's Tip: Be kind to your fellow man....remember to courtesy flush.

   I bet Curious George's owner is getting his azz pinched off today for St Patty's Day

   I had a fight with the wife and didn't see her for three days... Then the swelling went down and I could see her out of one eye

   its all fun and games until someone presses charges!

   The richest person is not the one who has the most,while he is the one who needs less.

   St. Patricks Day. The only time of the year when people are proud of having a bit of Irish in them.

   traveling through a maze.. In other words he's amazing

   gonna stand outside, so when people ask where I am you can tell them "He's outstanding!"

   that a keg in your back pocket? Cause I'd tap it

   You are the rain to my showers, the April to my flowers, the fresh to my air, you are the sun to my set, you make my day beautiful.

   wondering if I get stopped for speeding in a Toyota can I tell the officer I had a "Prius-exisiting condition?"