life Funny Status Messages

   Life is just better when you're laughing.

   To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.

   Feeling bored? Post a status on Facebook that says "Barack Obama 2016" and buckle up for the ride of your life.

   Life stopped handing us lemons and started giving us reasons to drink instead

   Whenever I feel like my life sucks, I go to Walmart , then I feel better

   How many selfies does it take to fill the emotional blackhole in a person's life?

   Life has handed me a lot of things. Except lemons. The great mystery of life for me has not been "Why are we here?" or "What is my purpose?". Actually I'd be happy just finding out where exactly the free lemon line is.

   Life is weird. First you wanna grow up, then you wanna be a kid again.

   Life is like a box of condoms. If you don't use one, you never know what you're goin get.

   The worst things in life are free, too. Like, gonorrhea, chapped elbows and flyers left on your windshield.

   When life hands you women, make women laid

   I learned about life from 'Adventures In Babysitting.' The city is full of freaks and as long as your hair is fabulous you will not die

   Report out of Nashville: Dolly Parton in traffic accident. Her dual "airbags" obviously saved her life. 😊

   Sometimes, life is like a jar of jalapenos.... What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

   Life isn't like a box of chocolate. It's more like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today might burn your a$$ tomorrow..

   Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last long for fat people.

   if you assume all people are crazy, the mystery of life would be solved.

   They say drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette takes 6 minutes off your life. By my calculations I died in 1985...... Cheers!!

   Choose your ex wisely, they’ll be there for the rest of your life.

   Life didn't hand me lemons. I picked them myself.