love Funny Status Messages

   "Love is finishing each other's sentences” - Jeffrey Epstein & Ghislaine Maxwell :)

   Don't you love that moment when you're cutting wrapping paper and the scissors start to glide.

   I don't know why people see a stutter as being a negative thing. I love people with stutters. It's like they're giving you a drum roll before they start talking.

   i love how everyone is like "I'ma take this to the next level" meh most of you could get past level 1-2 in Super Mario Bros.

   Eat a handful of coffee grounds before seeing the dental hygienist. They love a challenge.

   I love these commercials showing caring farmers who are concerned over the way they humanely raise chickens. Only to kill them in the end.

   Saying "I fell in love with a dictator" is something I will never say in my life.

   I love Halloween, it is the one day of the year people don't question my sanity.

   There is nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed

   Driving 32 miles to buy the same apples I could get 50% cheaper at the local grocery store 1 mile from my place is the reason why I absolutely love Autumn.

   Been getting a lot of things done lately thanks to a wonderful Facebook feature I love using you could find under settings then scrolling down to where it says log out.

   My wife thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it's cause I'm afraid she might try to poison me someday.

   Everything I know about love I learned from the venus fly trap.

   I’ve often wondered what an atheist would do if he was stuck behind a car that wasn’t moving at a green light and had a bumper sticker on it that said "Honk if you love Jesus."

   I messaged a woman that I was madly in love with her. Then I rubbed one out. Now I kinda just like her.

   I would love to see things your way, but I'm not sure if I can stick my head that far up my butt.

   Marriage, Year one: I love watching you shave. You’re so cute! Marriage, year ten: You leave whiskers in that sink one more time and I’ll drown you in it

   I love our government! They just voted to borrow $1400 from me so that they can give it to me. Brilliant!

   I can't wait for tomorrow when Trump will officially be president again. Love to see those libs cry.

   I love contactless delivery. They just throw the slop at your door and I run out like a little pig.