Funny Status Messages

   Remember the first time you were ther leader of the line in kindergarten?........ That was the SHIZNITT!!!!

   How is illegal to talk on phone while driving in new york but its legal for the guy from cash cab to host a television show while driving?

   Chances are if you're using a pay phone, sh*t's not going well.

   on Dragon's Den next week. I've invented a land mine that looks like a prayer mat. I think the prophets will go through the f00king roof!

   When Facebook Isnt Working, Twitter goes over capacity, (and MySpace remains unused,) some Americans will finally meet their neigbors

   What's the first thing you notice in the opposite sex? I answered: His girlfriend.

   2 steps forward , 2 steps backwards ..... am I just marking time or dancing ?!!!

   Jesus H Christ , I thought I just died then ..... but no , facebook was down !! phew......

   Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?

   It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size. ;)

   I plead contemporary insanity.

   Good girls bend at the kness. BAD girls bend at the waist. ;)

   DNS FAILURE: Facebook is down which means 9 months from today, many children will be born.

   I think most of my friends hang out with me to see what I'll say next.

   I'm watching this show on stalkers, still haven't seen any of you yet.

   I'm so happy Facebook wasn't around when I was in high school.

   Facebook has been down for 2 hours. The apocalypse has begun.

   I wonder if my boss was more fun and carefree in his youth, when his name was Anakin.

   You should see all the pissed Farmville people taking their Facebook frustration out on Twitter.

   The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.