Funny Status Messages

   looking at her man, wondering how come he is a knight in shining armor one day and a retard wrapped in tin foil the next.....

   My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself.

   The best way to hang up on someone is to do it in the middle of YOUR OWN sentence. that way, they never suspect you hung up on them.

   When I “rage against the machine” the machine is usually a printer.

   Composeurs pretend to write classical music.

   During Obama's appearance on Mythbusters, Glenn Beck will debut his new Fox News show, Mythspreaders.

   I have just painted a blue square on the garden to trick people viewing Google Earth into thinking I have a swimming pool!

   It's very easy to sacrifice for a friends whats really hard is to find a friend who deserve it

   Remember Jesus died for our sins, so if you aren't sinning, he died in vain.

   No one can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.

   It's a sad state of affairs when most Americans don't know... Separation of church and state is not in the Constitution.

   Announcement: .. the Time Travelers Meeting scheduled for today will be held last Thursday .. :)

   accidently jerked himself off at church today

   This is who I am , good points and faults . Take it or leave it and i`m not going to worry what you think about me , accept me or delete me , your choice

   supports the "Obama Is Too Damn High Party"!!!

   homework: this is your last warning, if you keep coming here I'm filing a restraint order

   Confucius say, "Elevator smell different to midget."

   Just thinking of how confusing it would be to all the little tricker treaters if I dressed up as santa for Halloween and handed out candy..........

   so really..what was Meatloaf talking about when he sang he'll do anything for love, but he wont do that?

   Yo Kanye, I'm really happy for you, I'll let you finish, but Lil Jon has one of the best grills of all time. One of the best grills of all time!