santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   i just saved a bunch of money on Christmas by getting my daughters batteries with toys not included for Christmas this year.

   If you include your kid's high GPA score in your Christmas letter grandma will be proud but everyone else hates you.

   Attention!!! Christmas has been canceled this year!!! I told Santa that I had been good. He died laughing...

   I wrap the first few presents Martha Stewart style but towards the end they take on a drunk Helen Keller style.

   its beginning to cost a lot like Christmas

   Based on some of the status updates I see my friends post, I think some of them should see if there is an after Christmas return policy on relationships.

   The Christmas spirit is gone and I blame the Ghostbusters!

   Correcting typos matter. Its the different between addressing a letter to Santa or Satan. It could save a child's soul.

   Dear Santa, when I said I wanted something blingy around my neck.... STREP THROAT is NOT what I had in mind :/

   I still don't understand why these Christmas Carolers get spooked so easily....They act like they've never had a potato gun fired at them before! ツ

   Yeah, I can see where decorating your office for Christmas takes priority over you actually doing the job you're getting paid for. While you're at it you might as well decorate the bathroom too, someone might actually give a sh*t in there

   Just bought forty copies of Justin Bieber's latest CD as Christmas presents for all those who really pissed me off throughout 2011.

   Last Christmas I gave you my heart. But the very next day you gave it away. This year I'll give it to someone speci....wait a minute! You re-gifted my heart!?!

   Dont be suprised if a big fat man comes down your chimney and puts you in a black sack.. I told him I want you for Christmas.

   Got a note from Santa, said I was in the record books for being on his naughtly list for more than 40 consecutive years......... I guess he didn't appreciate my wish list as I got a return to sender with a LMAO attached......

   We don't have a chimney but I've assured my children that Santa and anyone else could easily sneak into our home at night.

   All I want for Christmas is for her let me stuff her stocking with my holiday joy.

   I haven't received one single greetings card from an Ethiopian . . . . . Do they know its Christmas???

   Your Christmas present will be all the more meaningful to me if you had to pepper spray someone in order to get it.

   We don't have mistletoe at Christmas so we just kiss under the influence.