santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   i have 2 sisters,one 14 and the other 6. the 14 year old was arguing with the 6 year old and said" SANTA ISN'T REAL!" without blinking,the 6 year old said"neither is edward cullen!" I don't wanna be mean so i'll say this,one ran away crying.

   Christmas is not about what your home looks like, it's about love and sharing.

   What's the best age to abandon your children around the holidays so they can grow up to write decent blues music?

   I just cleaned out the fireplace so that "Santa won't get dirty". I did it for my son because I love him, even though he's delusional.

   I went to the garage today to unpack Christmas decorations. I found a present from last year that I had forgotten to give the kids. I was so disappointed! They would really have loved that kitten.

   Finished Christmas shopping and gift wrapping over four months ago. The puppy doesn't make as much noise as it used to.

   Special merry xmas to all the essential personnel that have to work this holiday season i.e. doctors nurses cops..fire men 7-11 employees ..!!

   Special merry xmas to all the essential personnel that have to work this holiday season i.e. doctors nurses cops..fire men 7-11 employees ..!!

   Dear Santa, Please bring world peace, a cure to cancer, fix the financial crisis............ and please find, and land your sleigh on Casey Anthony's head. That's all...

   Ladies, you're running out of time to hump your way to some excellent Christmas presents from that guy you're sort of seeing right now.

   I bet the old guys that apply for the mall Santa job positions are undercover pedophiles.

   it okay to fake my own death just so I don't have to spend Christmas with my family?

   ♫♪♫....I'm beginning to think I'm blocked for Christmas...♫♪♫

   The worst part about getting a monogrammed sweater for Christmas is having to find someone with your initials to regift the thing to

   Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

   My sons love dressing up as Wardens and playing prison, their Grandma was shocked when she found out I had built them a miniature electric chair for Christmas....

   all I want for christmas is you... just kidding, get me diamonds.

   Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

   I got my drug dealer $200 for Christmas and he got me a big bag of weed.

   For christmas I bought my girlfriend a treadmill and a Victoria's Secret catalogue.