Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Was told to set an example. So I picked to be a bad example
←Rate | 01-29-2011 23:27 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So if you don't know the local language and need to find a restroom. The universal sign is to act like your holding your penis and making a hissing sound. Don't ask me how I know this.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 23:27 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone give Bruno Mars a grenade and pull the pin. I'm getting sick of that song. She dosen't love you, I don't wanna hear about how your stalking her.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 23:26 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chocolate chip cookie dough has a warning to not eat it raw. Who in their right mind is not going to do that. I can't even remember the last time I got cookie dough and made them into cookies.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 23:25 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon don't talk to me in that tone of CAPITALS!
←Rate | 01-29-2011 22:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Final destination she says. All destinations are final. Not need to use final there lady. Thats what the word means, destiny = final. If you haven't got where you're going, you're not there yet!
←Rate | 01-29-2011 22:32 Comments (1)  


   messageicon The main problem with a high maintenance woman is that the upkeep costs never go down.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 22:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hear my neighbor is holding her Saturday night mass. "Oh god! "Oh lord!" Oh jesus!"
←Rate | 01-29-2011 21:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nobody's phone is ever off. They're lying.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 21:35 by Abbybaby34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Why is the Sunday paper available on Saturday, does nothing happen that's worth calling news on Saturday?
←Rate | 01-29-2011 19:19 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll call the people I see at work "coworkers" as soon as they start doing some work.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 19:15 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mom always said kill them with kindness, but for you I'm getting my gun!
←Rate | 01-29-2011 18:46 by Will Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dumb ass week: If you know a dumb ass that has made you want to slap them every time you read there post, repost in your status!!!
←Rate | 01-29-2011 18:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i wish laundry was asexual so it could do itself.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 17:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fool people into thinking you actually go outside by updating your Facebook status via your mobile phone
←Rate | 01-29-2011 17:23 by baldy Comments (0)  


   messageicon nothing makes you feel old like that girl your co-workers are ogling at was born when you graduated HS, and her mom babysat you as a kid!
←Rate | 01-29-2011 16:49 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 15:50 by @psym0niedk9 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Guy: Wanna go out with me? Girl: I have a boyfriend. Guy: I have a test tomorrow. Girl: And? Guy: Sorry, I thought we were naming things we could cheat on
←Rate | 01-29-2011 15:23 by Rene Comments (14)  


   messageicon Read a chat while on the phone is not a good idea..."How you feeling?"..."I'm feeling wet"...
←Rate | 01-29-2011 15:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just a thought... practice what you preach!!!
←Rate | 01-29-2011 15:11 Comments (0)  




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