Funny Status Messages

   You can't have a relationship without any fights, but you can make your relationship worth the fight.

   The greener the grass is on the otherside is due to the manure being spread.

   wathing 'The Good Girl'. So far there isn't anything "good" about this girl.

   predicts that in the future, everyone famous will have mental health issues which they parade online for our entertainment.

   What I do, I do very well, and what I don't do well, I don't do at all.

   Keep doing what you're doing and you'll keep getting what you're getting.

   "People say you don't know what you've got till it's gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just never thought you'd lose it."

   ‎"Your Status has expired. Please deposit $1.25". ~FB Meter Maid

   according today's date on my transforming robot quartz watch I am in fact not stuck in the 80s despite what others say.

   Fish can drownd if you pull them backwards in the water. Your welcome.

   a guy at work said his grandfather died unexpectedly at the age of92. Really? You couldn't see that coming?

   Yoda could never get married because every time he announce his vows he replies "Do I?"

   when I was little I used to think Marshmallows were ghost turds...

   Just once I would like to see a sanitary commercial where the actress actually has a normal peroid- cranky and eating a snickers bar, not happy and playing sport!

   I saw a sign on the lawn in front of a 7-11 the other day, It read "Stay off the grass". I thought it was a weird place for a "Say no to drugs" message.

   U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one Fish cant Drown.

   If love isn't a game, then why are there so many players ?

   All kids are gifted; some just open their packages earlier than others.

   The worst way to miss someone, is to have them sitting right next to you & you know you can never have them.

   The mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work unless it's open.