Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 509 of 6452

If prayers doesn't work, then it's all Obama's fault. Fact!
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03-22-2020 21:59
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I loving this calling viruses by races. As long as you leave the whites out of it.
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03-22-2020 17:31
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To the below: Are you saying you want the media to pay everyone's mortgage?
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03-22-2020 15:14
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General Public: We can't pay rent or the mortgage. Media: LOOK!! The orange haired guy said CHINESE VIRUS again!!

How long are we supposed to do this social distancing thing? My wife keeps trying to get back into the house.

Rand Paul has been tested positive for Coronavirus. Yes!!!! Thank you lord! Thank you Jesus Christ!
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03-22-2020 14:01
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I'm glad the earth is solving our over-population problem. Keep it up, mother earth.
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03-22-2020 12:23
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Don't care about nudes, send me a video of you washing your hands
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03-22-2020 08:07
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tested positive for missing my homies
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03-22-2020 08:05
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Have we tried unplugging 2020 waiting 30 seconds and then plugging it back in?
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03-22-2020 08:04
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Before Coronavirus, I used to cough to cover a fart. Now I fart to cover a cough.
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03-22-2020 08:04
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Due to the Quarantine, I’ll only be telling inside jokes.
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03-22-2020 08:04
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I'm glad we have a Space Force rather than a pandemic response team.
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03-22-2020 07:48
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Boo hoo! I'm so mad that I can't go out and mindlessly hang around some dive bar watching some crummy cover band butcher my 5 favorite songs from some 80' hair metal hacks!
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03-22-2020 06:51
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I think Facebook should change What's on your mind? To What's on your mind, besides the Coronavirus?
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03-22-2020 01:37
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I definitely didn't stockpile enough hot sauce.

Virus Tip - If you run out of toilet paper, just spray Pam between your butt cheeks and poop won't stick. Don't ask how I know this...
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03-21-2020 14:41 by Gabe
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I am going through a lot of toilet paper and kleenex in self-isolation .. . I get it now.
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03-21-2020 12:49
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Ruby can finally take her love to town... guilt free.
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03-21-2020 12:48
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If you're low on TP, just take a bunch of anti-diarrhea medicine. Problem solved!
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03-21-2020 10:47
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