Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon My computer jsut asked me to check my virus protection, which one ?
←Rate | 03-12-2020 19:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump: A Brazilian has coronavirus Pelosi and Schumer: A Brazilian oh my God how many people is that????
←Rate | 03-12-2020 19:24 by Dan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey Bernie and Joe don’t need advice from two old guys wearing Depends. We need TP....
←Rate | 03-12-2020 19:02 by Dan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stocked up on the Merlot and chocolate. Bring the 3 week corona quarantine!
←Rate | 03-12-2020 18:17 by MiMisHouse Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got the bread and mi....I mean toilet paper and handy wipes!
←Rate | 03-12-2020 16:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, no baseball, hockey or basketball. What's next? No cornhole?
←Rate | 03-12-2020 15:17 by HeiligMalvin Comments (0)  


   messageicon The World Health Organization came out today and said that dogs are immune from the COVID-19 virus, and that any dogs that have been placed in quarantine can be released. So to be clear....WHO let the dogs out.
←Rate | 03-12-2020 15:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to put out an Amber alert for common sense...
←Rate | 03-12-2020 12:24 by MrSharp Comments (0)  


   messageicon eerie parallel ... in Cast Away, Tom Hanks was stranded on a distant island with only Wilson to keep him company ... now, Tom Hanks in is quarantine on a distant island with only Wilson to keep him company.
←Rate | 03-12-2020 11:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before the Coronavirus I'd cough to cover a fart. Now I fart to cover a cough.
←Rate | 03-12-2020 09:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only time I ever heard of panic buying was when the bartender yelled, LAST CALL
←Rate | 03-12-2020 08:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Macarena was just a tutorial on how to fold a sweater.
←Rate | 03-12-2020 08:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can’t call it “pandemic” unless it’s from the Pandemic region of France, otherwise it’s just Sparkling Flu
←Rate | 03-12-2020 08:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some of you all went from homemade, natural, all organic cleaning products to Clorox real fast...
←Rate | 03-12-2020 08:39 by Gabe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Went to the dentist today. My teeth are fine. I just wanted to hear some of my songs.
←Rate | 03-12-2020 08:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Which essential oil is best for getting people to stop talking to you
←Rate | 03-12-2020 08:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so old I remember when the only person with germophobia was Howard Hughes.
←Rate | 03-12-2020 01:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mike Pence isn't praying hard enough for us. I'm beginning to think he doesn't care about us at all.
←Rate | 03-11-2020 23:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to panic buying Walmart has open register #3
←Rate | 03-11-2020 20:46 by MarkM Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've never Kung Fu kicked so many toilet seats in all my life.
←Rate | 03-11-2020 18:31 by Jsabbage Comments (0)  




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