Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   come on playstation network you were hacked and have been down for 5 days, learn from Jesus, he was crucified and only down for 3 day

   Please allow me to illustrate my point: .

   "I should of gotten an A in English class". No, you shouldn't HAVE

   Look down at your chest, a little to the left OK - that's where i'll always rest.

   God Created the Universe,everything else is 'Made In China'

   You are the most amazing thing I could ever ask for. I love you with all my heart and I hope you never change again because you are perfect the way you are. You mean the world to me in every single way. Love you FB

   When I got Internet, I started watching T.V. less and less.

   Dear Icebergs, Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a b**ch.Sincerely, The Titanic

   Dear Rubik's Cube, Done! Sincerely, Colorblind

   Dear 2010, So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?! Sincerely, 1985

   Dear Yahoo, I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying.Sincerely, Google.

   ‎ I really hope Prince William doesn't get cold teeth, err, I mean feet!

   I installed a stripper pole outside my house. Haven't caught one yet.

   Google has gotten so used to my search habits, all I have to do is type a celebrity's name and it automatically adds "nude".

   There's always a little truth behind every "just kidding". A little knowledge behind every "I don't know". A little emotion behind every "I don't care", and a little pain behind every "it's okay"...

   I had a nightmare. I dreamt I was you.

   Monday is the strongest day of all the weekdays, even though it is cursed by every other person in this world, it still exists

   Some guys think all they have to do is try hard to get a girl, but what they don't know is the most important part is keeping her

   Obama was confused, it's not his "Birth Certificate" it's a "Gift Certificate"...

   I heard the Royle wedding is having a horse drawn carriage or Prince Charles just calls her Camilla