Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Im sensing a global nervous laugh...

   Last night I awoke to a warm gentle rain on my face........and then I realized I was sleeping on the bottom bunk......................

   Did the world end while I was sleeping? Because my room looks like and earthquake came through. I guess they have Facebook in hell.

   Ladies this is your last chance before the rapture to send me pics of your breasts!!

   Wating for that moment at 12:01 am when Jesus and Ashton Kutcher pop out and tell us we all got punked...

   Picking out an appropiate outfit for a Rapture is so frustrating....and I don't even want to get into picking the right accesories...

   They tried to make me go to rapture and I said no, no, no.

   where's my invisibility cape?? I wanna stay till the end!

   My Facebook Wall: Drama free since I deleted my dramatic friends.

   I really don't mind if you don't something for me as long as you dont' say you are going to do it but don't.

   All you people with hair think you're so damn superior!!

   Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth shattering kaboom

   And on the 21st Day of May... God said.. Hahahahahhahah!

   Unf*cking believable, I expected to see Zombies outside of my apartment, you know what I saw? A dog taking a dump

   Now that Rapture is about to begin…I have a few things I need to confess: I let the dogs out, I stole the cookies from the cookie jar, I hacked play station and YES I did cause global warming…Internet connection lost error message**

   May 21, 2011 - The "A-crap-alypse".

   You've been H.A.D ... HAPPY APOCALYPSE DAY .

   Ok , rapture already! Take me an leave Beiber, or vice versa, whatever !

   You know gas is expensive when you need the reflexes of a Ninja to get the pump to stop on a even dolar amount.

   what happens if ur peeing when the world ends???....