Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   sometime you have to take a step back and really look at yourself to help you figure out who you want to be.

   Every morning around this time I start to wonder if I'm the maury type

   10-21-11 is doomsday,Camping has spoken&we all know Camping never errs.well except for '88 being the year of the rapture,&'94 being the year of judgment & rapture, & of 5-21-11 at 6pm being a double date w/judgment&rapture.but other than that he's spot on

   You'll never get over me... and you won't be getting under me either!

   Looks like we have an idiot on the lose today. Disregards those meaningless statuses.

   I will do anything humanly possible to reach the remote without getting up.

   Every American President inherits a sworn duty to protect Israel. Protecting Israel costs money and lives. Losing money and lives while trying to protect Israel can cost an American president his job. Its a viscous circle.

   What I like about soy butter is the delicate blending of the flavors of fish food and dirt.

   While cooking dinner tonight I got herbs in my eyes. I am now parsley sighted

   boobbies make me happy click if you like boobbies, say it boobies

   The words that sunk a million hearts... "Let's just be friends"

   easily doubled his money by folding it in half and putting it back into my pocket

   Dear slut: Has your right leg ever met your left leg? _Discusted bystanders

   hates being bi-polar. It's awesome.

   trading his mother-in-law for a stud service and willing to add cash

   still looking for his future mother-in-law with only one very nice and sexy daugther

   Someone is thinking about sex....OK it's me :)

   I organized a three some last night....there were a couple of no-shows but I still had a good time

   Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!

   I wonder where Harold Camping is hiding these days? Is he counting the millions of $$$ he scammed from his followers? He's a disgrace to the human race.