Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   No quarantine has all five: – ur partner – balcony / garden – pasta – quiet neighbours – hi speed wifi

   2000: I don’t want no scrubs 2020: I’m actually gonna need all those scrubs.

   Covid-19 Log -4/14/20: Shaved my shoulders.

   If it's good news, I'm taking all the credit. If it's bad news, I'm blaming others.

   * Like rainy days and mondays he always gets me down.

   Dems win the supreme court's seat in Wisconsin.

   This is the first time in my life that am seeing a month without a weekend, everyday is everyday

   Babysitter rates going up when this things over!

   Quarantine tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any

   “Say hello to my little friend” isn’t threatening. Why would someone be afraid of anyone with their “little friend” hanging out?

   Clothing donations and new purchases are going thru the roof when all this is over!!

   Will someone please put this below ret*rd out of his misery. No one should be allowed to be this stupid.

   Dear Tummy, do I have tell you separately.its a lockdown. Stay in

   3 wks in lockdown widout sugar n aerated drinks.no dairy, bakery items or caffeine! I feel great! No alcohol, fried items 2 hr home workout everyday. Lost 14 Kgs & gained muscle mass!! no idea whose status this was but I decided to copy

   Does anyone fancy breaking the curfew and coming out for a few drinks on Boxing Day?

   Two new ice cream flavors. Chocolate Chip Happens, and Stay The Fudge Home

   The only change in my life is tha I'm consuming more food than before because nothings here to stop me

   Good news. Jesus has risen. Bad news. He will need to be quarantined for 14 days

   * Well it's April and it didn't miraculously go away like he said it would.

   In these trying days of isolation please remember Deodorant is not Optional.