love Funny Status Messages

   There are only two types of women in this world: 1) Those who love sex just as much as men do. 2) Liars.

   Please, always tell your daughters they're beautiful, and you love them. There's enough selfies on Facebook already.

   Always tell your daughters they're beautiful, and you love them. There's enough selfies on Facebook already.

   Two antennas meet on a rooftop, fall in love, get married....The wedding wasn't much but the reception was great!

   I love gas stations that sell fireworks, that's like prostitutes that sell rope and shovels

   If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back, stalk them.

   If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back.....sell all their crap on Craigslist.

   If you love someone, set her free. If she doesn't come back, start dating her best friend.

   If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back, send them all their stuff they left at your place.

   Getting a neck tattoo is probably the coolest way to show your love for manual labour.

   Love seeing life through the eyes of a child. So I made the nephew a helmet-cam and let him take a spin in the dryer.

   Neighbor - n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

   Dear ladies, We love when you play with our balls and not our minds.

   Yes, I said I love you, but I meant it in the drunk kind of way.

   Love you unconditionally? Hmmm, no I have some conditions.

   If you love someone, make them guess how you feel about them until they get tired and move on to someone else.

   Maybe if you really love them you won't put them to the ultimate test of seeing just how much of your bullsh*t they can actually put up with

   Loving someone who doesn’t love you back isn’t as bad as trying to eat something immediately after brushing your teeth.

   Love is like writing your name on the beach’s sand. Eventually, the waves will wash it all away until nothing’s left.

   Pro tip:When women want to be held, hold em When they're sad, love em When they're drunk, try for butthole. It's easier when they're drunk