Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 4791 of 6446

   messageicon Angry husband is not satisfied with his wife & sends an sms to his Mother in law. Your product is not matching my requirements. Smart Mother in law replys - Warranty expired, manufacturer not responsible after seal is broken.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 06:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “I can neither confirm or deny…” In my book, that's a yes.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 06:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you had Taco Bell when the toilet seat remains warm between visits...
←Rate | 07-06-2011 03:53 by desire.teubes Comments (0)  


   messageicon hoping Casey Anthony gets her next period in a shark tank
←Rate | 07-06-2011 03:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What an amazing state .. Florida screws up elections and trials
←Rate | 07-06-2011 01:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That awkard moment when you really wished Kayne West had intrrupted the Casey's Not Guilty Verdict.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 00:36 by Nebulith Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sitting at home, inhaling large amounts of helium, and calling random phone numbers; seeing people just wanna talk!
←Rate | 07-06-2011 00:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone needs to just calm down, I have it on good authority that the Anthony case has been re-opened! There was a witness and he just so happens to be the presiding judge. Trial is set to begin the moment she takes her last breath.
←Rate | 07-05-2011 23:39 by michael askins Comments (0)  


   messageicon 172 days, 1 hour and 25 minutes until christmas! But hey, whos counting
←Rate | 07-05-2011 23:35 by ingie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim Kardashian on Twitter: "Casey Anthony not guilty? I am speechless!" Someone replied: "So was Nicole Brown's family when your dad got OJ off".
←Rate | 07-05-2011 23:20 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon Casey's fate was decided by 12 peers too stupid to get out of jury duty
←Rate | 07-05-2011 22:54 by Troy Comments (0)  


   messageicon writing about music is like dancing about architecture
←Rate | 07-05-2011 22:26 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a buddy that is a vegetarian not because he loves animals but because he hates plants!!!
←Rate | 07-05-2011 22:24 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just love hearing somebody lying, when I know the truth..
←Rate | 07-05-2011 22:22 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Visa is everywhere you want to be…except out of debt.
←Rate | 07-05-2011 22:22 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Waiting for someone to tell you they love you is like listening for windchimes in a hurricane.
←Rate | 07-05-2011 22:20 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just when you think you've heard it all, someone comes up with a brand new damn lie.
←Rate | 07-05-2011 22:19 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they're out of control.
←Rate | 07-05-2011 22:18 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon LIFE is the art of drawing...WITHOUT an eraser
←Rate | 07-05-2011 21:54 by bijoux Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not drunk, I'm just trying to walk like Jack Sparrow.
←Rate | 07-05-2011 20:35 by Surge Yarmolyuk Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left