Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Angry husband is not satisfied with his wife & sends an sms to his Mother in law. Your product is not matching my requirements. Smart Mother in law replys - Warranty expired, manufacturer not responsible after seal is broken.
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07-06-2011 06:27
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“I can neither confirm or deny…” In my book, that's a yes.
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07-06-2011 06:03
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You know you had Taco Bell when the toilet seat remains warm between visits...

hoping Casey Anthony gets her next period in a shark tank
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07-06-2011 03:18
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What an amazing state .. Florida screws up elections and trials
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07-06-2011 01:52
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That awkard moment when you really wished Kayne West had intrrupted the Casey's Not Guilty Verdict.
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07-06-2011 00:36 by Nebulith
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Sitting at home, inhaling large amounts of helium, and calling random phone numbers; seeing people just wanna talk!
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07-06-2011 00:19
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Everyone needs to just calm down, I have it on good authority that the Anthony case has been re-opened! There was a witness and he just so happens to be the presiding judge. Trial is set to begin the moment she takes her last breath.

172 days, 1 hour and 25 minutes until christmas! But hey, whos counting
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07-05-2011 23:35 by ingie
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Kim Kardashian on Twitter: "Casey Anthony not guilty? I am speechless!" Someone replied: "So was Nicole Brown's family when your dad got OJ off".
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07-05-2011 23:20 by Jeff W
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Casey's fate was decided by 12 peers too stupid to get out of jury duty
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07-05-2011 22:54 by Troy
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writing about music is like dancing about architecture
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07-05-2011 22:26 by migasjoe
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I have a buddy that is a vegetarian not because he loves animals but because he hates plants!!!
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07-05-2011 22:24 by migasjoe
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I just love hearing somebody lying, when I know the truth..
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07-05-2011 22:22 by BEGO
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Visa is everywhere you want to be…except out of debt.
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07-05-2011 22:22 by BEGO
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Waiting for someone to tell you they love you is like listening for windchimes in a hurricane.
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07-05-2011 22:20 by BEGO
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Just when you think you've heard it all, someone comes up with a brand new damn lie.
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07-05-2011 22:19 by BEGO
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Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they're out of control.
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07-05-2011 22:18 by BEGO
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LIFE is the art of drawing...WITHOUT an eraser
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07-05-2011 21:54 by bijoux
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I'm not drunk, I'm just trying to walk like Jack Sparrow.