Funny Status Messages

   I should have been more careful then making my New Year's resolution to hang out with more than two of my Facebook friends in 2020

   I'm hoping the Coronavirus predictions are as off as the weather forecasts.

   The current 2020 calender has been scrapped. Going forward it has been redesigned as a year with 121 weeks. Each week is now 3 days long made up of Today, Tomorrow and Yesterday.

   Maybe if I develop feelings for Covid 19 it will leave.

   If loss of appetite is a symptom, I think most of us are safe.

   If I ever get a dog, I think I'll name him Peeve. Then I can introduce him as my pet peeve.

   Everyone here is always like, “Eat the rich,” but then Carol Baskin feeds her millionaire husband to a tiger and it’s a problem, hypocrites

   25 days on lock down and I feel lazier than the guy who created the Japanese flag

   sorry folks, he will go down as one of the greatest Presidents in History

   Feeling sorry for cannibals who are social distancing. No handshakes… just cold shoulders.

   He says he is against the use of mail in ballots for elections, but yet he used a mail in ballout to cast is vote in the Florida primary election.

   * He more of a fearleader than a cheerleader.

   * He claims he went to an ivy league college, and has an incredible vocabulary. To bad his incredible vocabulary isn't part of the english language.

   Here's an idea: Let's put the MSM in quarantine for 30 days to stop the spread of Fake News.

   Why did Wisconsin Supreme Court change to the Dems? I think I'm going to kill myself.

   * With the people staying home. The air pollution levels have dropped. I actually went out in my back yard today, and smelled fresh air for the first time in twenty years.

   n't Coors Light a redundancy?

   Wonder if those tide pod eaters were on to something if soap kills the Coronavirus?

   I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe

   I know I’m paranoid, but am I paranoid enough?