Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If you lose something let it go, but when it comes back, that's how you know.

   Sometimes things just don't work out....like when you finally get your foot in the door, someone slams it!

   who ever said "the freaks come out at night" has obviously never been to Walmart during the day

   i hate people who take drugs, customs and police for example

   you know why some people always run their mouths??..because talk is cheap and for some, it's all they can afford

   a life with no regrets is a life no lived, I would rather strike out swinging than to sit there looking

   i love you like a fat kid loves cake, but right now the fat kid is on a diet

   the bigger the sunglasses, the uglier the face

   my new summer accesory is a fly swatter, not to use on flies but to actually pimp slap people who feel that its not necessary to use deodorant

   man code #3: if your friends zipper is down, that's his problem, you didn't see nothing

   pimpin hoes doesn't mean you have game, just means your own kind recognize you

   ladies first is just a polite way of saying I wanna check out your booty

   janet jackson flashes a titty and all hell breaks loose, while on the other hand rick ross can just flaunt his knockers anywhere he wants

   9 out of 10 men prefer a woman with a big booty, the 10th guy prefers the 9 other men

   some girls look better witout glasses, thats why I never bring mine to the club

   how badass would it be if USA came out in Mighty Duck's jerseys?

   just finished eating some generic frosted flakes, they're allllllllright, I guess

   if only you could put people up to the light to see if they're fake or real like a 20 dollar bill

   I probably should have put my real birthdate, because I just woke up to a bunch of happy birthday's on my wall.

   Initials and Acronyms. Casey Marie Anthony=CMA=Caylee's Murderer Acquitted