Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   A real woman avoids drama like a plague, for she knows her efforts and time are too precious and to be wasted on little minded people and their tantrums.

   Having sex with someone who doesn't love you is like having sex with a cactus; it will leave you hurt and devastated.

   Politicians should be made to wear NASCAR suits so we can tell who their sponsors are.

   I just heard Alicia Silverstone had a son and named it Bear Blu. Now I wonder if it's mere coincidence that she starred in Clueless.

   God made you and me, then he whispered, "Meant to be''

   That annoying feeling you get when you're dying to talk to someone, but your pride won't allow you to text them first.

   Referring back to one of my earlier posts I'm pretty sure I could eat a couple of bowls of Alpha-Bits Cereal and poop out better Rap Lyrics than what's in most Soulja Boy Rap Songs.

   Some people don't fall in love; they drown in it.

   What do I say to some poor schmuck who tells me he can out insult me on line? Nothing. I have a hard time talking while laughing hysterically.

   Some say motivation doesn't last, but so is bathing. That is why I recommend it daily.

   I'm not surprised when I see some poor coward insult me online anonomously. What's surprising is that he could pull himself away from his Post T Vac and his new episode of "Toddlers and Tiaras" long enough to type something intelligible.

   Don't sweat it when an Anonomous Cyber Bully says something insulting or points out your blunders online. Fact is that most of us could eat a can of Alphabet Soup and sh!t better responses than their posts which is what they hide from in the 1st place.

   Got my heart broken recently...makes me wanna crack their skull....afterall fair is fair....right?

   to the person who wrote they dont want 2 B reminded of 911 cuz it was a horrifuc day,well so is your birthday ! JERK !

   If my computer had a neck id punch it in the neck!

   When I don't need it, I find it. When I need it, I can't find it! I guess I don't need it...

   lol, Any of you morons ever hear of snopes? Stop hating on Pepsi....

   Wow Pepsi didnt put "Under God" on their new Pledge of Allegiance Can. They don't want to offend any one with the phrase. Well Pepsi I promise not to give you any coins or bills with "In God We Trust" on them. I dont want to offend you or anything.

   The GOP's answer to Obamacare-Call us when you are shovel ready.

   A history of 9/11 this weekend. I'll be watching. Peace: the ultimate want. If everyone would bend, we'd have this... CJ