Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 444 of 6383
The Media in a nutshell... On the Flu: "It's going around." On the Coronavirus: It's coming after you, and it's coming hard! Bet on it!"
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03-16-2020 14:18 by Fazzy
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If he threw toilet paper, like he did in Puerto Rico, it would be a more useful response than what he has shown thus far.
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03-16-2020 12:43
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The world changed in 1 month 4rm Feb 14 : "Will you be my valentine?" to Mar 14 : "Will you be my quarantine?
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03-16-2020 11:29 by raman911
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I can't wait for the next played out toilet paper memes to surface.
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03-16-2020 11:11
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The toilet roll situation has got so bad I have been forced to wipe with lettuce leaves. I fear its just the tip of the iceberg
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03-16-2020 10:44
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Took a really beautiful girl out on a date the other night and never knew she had a dental implant until it came out during a conversation.
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03-16-2020 00:34
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Back in the day the only problem stores had with customers and toilet papes was keeping them from squeezing the Charmin.
Always look on the bright side of life!....badump....badump....badump adump dump....Come on!... Always look at the bright side of life!.....
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03-15-2020 16:30
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Cough, Through, Though, Rough... none of these words rhyme. But for some reason, Pony and Bologna do...
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03-15-2020 14:40 by Gabe
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How effective is the absorbency of an oak leaf? Asking for a squirrel.
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03-15-2020 08:58 by Fazzy
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Well look at the bright side, we've been practicing isolating ourselves from my friends ever since they created Facebook.
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03-15-2020 08:17
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I'm so used to ending phone calls with family and friends by saying "I love you", that I accidentally said it to the female agent at Spectrum. Anyway, she gave me 6 months of free internet and HBO.
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03-15-2020 07:07 by Fazzy
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Some things in life are bad they can really make you mad! Other things just make you swear and curse When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best and always look on the bright side life!
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03-14-2020 20:57
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When artificial intelligence surpasses the intelligence of mankind, mankind will become less and less intelligent until society itself ceases to exist.
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03-14-2020 20:50 by Woden
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Found a great feature Facebook's has that helps you lower your fears is about the coronavirus you can find them to settings then scrolling down to where it says log out.
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03-14-2020 15:11
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There will be a baby boom in 9 months, after this thing pass but them babies will be known as the Quaranteens
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03-14-2020 10:19
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I’m so hungry, I could eat a buttered monkey
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03-14-2020 07:58
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Before we die of corona, anyone wanna admit they have a crush on me?
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03-14-2020 07:29
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Whelp, it looks like another day we're not going to cure the coronavirus with our Facebook posts.
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03-13-2020 20:34
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Schools getting cancelled left n right indefinitely? At this rate, I feel sorry for Classof2020 our babies gonna graduate on FaceTime
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03-13-2020 18:37
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