Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   From every setback, I make a major comeback.

   I wish bugs understood the concept of personal space

   Black folks always run outta Gas because "E" means "Enough" to us.

   The more you care, the more you lose.

   middle finger to all the b!tches that had me and played me like a fool.

   It's funny how enemies stick around longer than friends do.

   If I choose you over my sleep, you better feel special.

   How can I "Live Like Theres No Tomorrow" if there are freaking rules and laws?

   "Sex is life"... I want you to make me immortal.

   Excuse me while I throw on this fake smile and plow through this sh*t one more day.

   I really hate people who say, "I know something about you but I cant tell you" Well, I know something about you too and its that you are an a$$hole.

   I think Fruit Loops are just Gay Cheerio's.

   Billy the kid was so mean, he once shot a man for snoring, Me? I once shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.

   Black guys from other countries aren't really "Black Guys"

   About half of you, I don't get ...and the other half, I don't care to.

   UK Secret Intelligence Service (aka MI6). They have their own website with the usual "About Us", "Our Strategy", Our Values" etc... Sorry, but am I missing something here? :-s

   Sooo.. In between Mundane Monday.. And Whip'em Out Wednesday.. I now proclaim today as.."Touch ur Toes Tuesday!" Because people are just so eager to F*ck you every chance they can get!

   What's with all the relationship post?! This ain't Dr.Phil! Be Funny..or Be out!

   ladies when a guy changes his status on facebook from single to in a relationship..say congratulations which hand is it this time? Right or Left

   Q: What does a blonde owl say? A: What, what?