Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4406 of 6438

The Philadelphia man that bought a $4.00 painting but inside is a $2.5 million dollar worth Declaration of Independence document. Ok the song Philadelphia Freedom comes to mind
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10-20-2011 00:29 by Oregon
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When life gives you lemon, just add vodka and stop whining.
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10-20-2011 00:28
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Love is not always sunshine and flowers. Sometimes it is thunder and lightning.
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10-20-2011 00:21
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I took one of my wife's vitamins this morning if anybody wants to go shoe shopping or ask my opinion on curtains, call me
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10-20-2011 00:20 by Oregon
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When choosing a ring tone, always ask yourself, "How embarrassed will I be when this rings in public?"
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10-20-2011 00:18
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It wasn't funny. :( I pooped my pants. Okay, so I exaggerated. But I was startled.
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10-20-2011 00:12
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Her: Leg or breast? Me: You know I'm an Breast man. Her: Sir, this is KFC.
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10-20-2011 00:03
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1) Go to Google 2) Type : mov0001.swf 3) Click on the first link
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10-19-2011 23:57
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wrong mac miller that died ya big dummy you got a computer research it
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10-19-2011 22:41
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I don't always drink milk but when I do I prefer Dos Chi Chis
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10-19-2011 22:40
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come to think of it...Rosa Parks never called shotgun
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10-19-2011 22:18
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I swear Blackberry must be a FEMALE. Only a woman can ignore you for three days flat and then pretend nothing was wrong!
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10-19-2011 22:09 by charlied1
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Famous people are droppin like flies..I mean..We had...Michael Jackson..Amy Whinehouse..Steve Jobs.. Whose next.. Lindsay Lohan?!
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10-19-2011 22:07 by Seanathon
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You ever notice sometimes all day on Wednesday you keep thinking its Thursday? Then when Thursday comes, you're al right again.
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10-19-2011 22:07 by Danmanz
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Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please take them off.
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10-19-2011 21:28 by Katana
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I love how the ninja turtles wear masks. Way to hide your identity, its not like your a giant turtle or anything.
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10-19-2011 21:26 by Katana
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Girls put lots of makeup on....cream..lip gloss...get hair and nails done. Guy's look at them and say,Wow, nice @SS
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10-19-2011 21:25
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A Happy Meal without a toy should be called a Sad Meal.
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10-19-2011 21:25 by g0re
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China: 1.2 billion people. 50 last names.
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10-19-2011 21:25 by Katana
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If McDonalds sold hot dogs you wouldn't be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it.
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10-19-2011 21:12 by g0re
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