Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Because it's the season to give thanks, I would just like to say....you're welcome

   I'm an organ donor, but I'm pretty sure all they're going to use is my liver for *after* photos.

   Happy Turkey Day, America! Don't forget to name the turkey and make everyone uncomfortable.

   God as my witness...I thought Turkeys could fly!!!!

   Centerpead.....? Someone needs spell check or to learn how to use it.

   will never understand why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving. Shouldn't the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium?

   Day 24: I am thankful that after today there will be no more I am thankful posts.

   Happy Thanks Giving! Today I will stuff myself and eat all that I can, tomorrow I will eat the rest of the left overs and then I am going to quit cold turkey.

   Hackers used to have skill. Now it just means someone who found a Facebook account that wasn't logged out.

   Define birthday :-the only day in your life.....when your mother smiled when you cried.

   everyone has that 1 friend that is totally clueless

   ..Hey,,, Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his neighbor in the woods?

   Because it's the season to give thanks, I would just like to say....you're welcome.

   ready for a football, family, food, and farts...Happy Thanksgiving!

   May Your stuffing be tasty, May your turkey be plump, May your potatoes n' gravy, Have nary a lump, May your yams be delicious, May your pies be the prize, May your Thanksgiving dinner Stay off of your thighs.

   When the bed is making more noise than the girl, it's probably time for a replacement.

   I'm finishing off this bottle of wine because you never know when an asteroid is gonna hit and I'd hate to waste the $6.49 I spent on it.

   Edward isn't a vampire, he lives in the forest, he doesn't eat people, and he sparkles..Dat fool is obviously a fairy a$$.

   Your pinky is the your smallest finger but the secrets it holds are huge.

   Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That's why you have two hands.