Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon One time I was in a car giving directions to a gay driver. Things got awkward when I told him to go straight.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 15:15 by Brodieking Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I hear Sandusky's Santa application has been rejected...
←Rate | 11-17-2011 14:57 by Brodieking Comments (0)  


   messageicon How did the American Cross the Road? A Cop dragged her there by the hair
←Rate | 11-17-2011 14:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? “Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel.”
←Rate | 11-17-2011 14:18 by Ak Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching your ex down grade, Oh what a lovely feeling.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 14:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard you are a PLAYA. Nice to meet you, I am the COACH.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 13:49 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rotisserie Chicken..a morbid Ferris-wheel for chicken...spinning chicken carcasses make my mouth water...That's right… I LIKE MY CHICKEN DIZZY!!!
←Rate | 11-17-2011 13:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon HEADLINE: "American stranded in Ukraine in online dating scam" - I am just glad I have never needed a date this bad.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 13:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey....Admit it, everyone has a little bit of racism in them. When you do laundry, I bet you all separate the colored from the whites......
←Rate | 11-17-2011 13:11 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Another way for a guy to confess his virginity to a woman is to tell her he follows Justin Bieber on Twitter.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 12:44 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone wants to be Black but no one wants Black problems.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 12:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Pill, the second best thing a woman can put in her mouth to avoid pregnancy
←Rate | 11-17-2011 12:35 by kevko Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I am sad, I think of you- I then realize that my life is still better then yours.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 12:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Real Boyfriend will make sure he wears protection when Cheating.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 12:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you are a complete loser when you are doing hard time for shoplifting in the dollar store.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 12:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon S W A G – [S]omething [W]e [A]$$holes [G]ot.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 12:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Broke chicks always know exactly what kind of Men they want BUT never know what kind of Man DON'T want their destitute a$$!
←Rate | 11-17-2011 12:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shout out to all the fat people that are hungry for success.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 11:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Damn girl..you look like you know how to have a good time...at a buffet.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 11:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women don't trust Men, not because they cheat but because they know how scandalous and shady other Women are!
←Rate | 11-17-2011 11:47 by Czovczov Comments (0)  




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