Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4244 of 6397
One time I was in a car giving directions to a gay driver. Things got awkward when I told him to go straight.
So I hear Sandusky's Santa application has been rejected...
How did the American Cross the Road? A Cop dragged her there by the hair
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11-17-2011 14:24
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Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? “Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel.”
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11-17-2011 14:18 by Ak
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Watching your ex down grade, Oh what a lovely feeling.
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11-17-2011 14:07
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I heard you are a PLAYA. Nice to meet you, I am the COACH.
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11-17-2011 13:49 by Czovczov
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Rotisserie Chicken..a morbid Ferris-wheel for chicken...spinning chicken carcasses make my mouth water...That's right… I LIKE MY CHICKEN DIZZY!!!
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11-17-2011 13:41
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HEADLINE: "American stranded in Ukraine in online dating scam" - I am just glad I have never needed a date this bad.
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11-17-2011 13:22
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Hey....Admit it, everyone has a little bit of racism in them. When you do laundry, I bet you all separate the colored from the whites......
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11-17-2011 13:11 by sully
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Another way for a guy to confess his virginity to a woman is to tell her he follows Justin Bieber on Twitter.
Everyone wants to be Black but no one wants Black problems.
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11-17-2011 12:35
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The Pill, the second best thing a woman can put in her mouth to avoid pregnancy
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11-17-2011 12:35 by kevko
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When I am sad, I think of you- I then realize that my life is still better then yours.
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11-17-2011 12:34
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A Real Boyfriend will make sure he wears protection when Cheating.
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11-17-2011 12:08
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You know you are a complete loser when you are doing hard time for shoplifting in the dollar store.
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11-17-2011 12:05
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S W A G – [S]omething [W]e [A]$$holes [G]ot.
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11-17-2011 12:03
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Broke chicks always know exactly what kind of Men they want BUT never know what kind of Man DON'T want their destitute a$$!
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11-17-2011 12:00
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Shout out to all the fat people that are hungry for success.
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11-17-2011 11:57
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Damn girl..you look like you know how to have a good time...at a buffet.
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11-17-2011 11:56
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Women don't trust Men, not because they cheat but because they know how scandalous and shady other Women are!
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11-17-2011 11:47 by Czovczov
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