Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Dear Wal-Mart! After 8 p.m. Please QUIT PUTTING the SLOWEST,OLDEST people behind the Speedy Check Out!

   It's shame Kim Jong I'll never got to start his rap career, in which his stage name would have been 'K.Jong Da Illest'

   You are my GOOGLE. You have everything I am searching for.

   RIP Kim Jong-il. I loved you on Community and those Hangover movies.

   Studying for a class sucks, but, not nearly as hard as failing that class

   Doing nothing all day feels great, realizing you did nothing all day, not so great.

   Sad to see Kim Jong died....he was so good in 16 candle. RIP Long Duk Dong

   Damn! Ghadafi, now Kim Jong, I think Sunglass Hut is in real trouble 

   uncertain of what the etiquette is here, I got Kim Jong Il's name in Secret Santa.

   I take the cat approach to things now. When people that I don't like pass by, I just hiss at them.

   I found out today that Snooki hates the nickname "Snooki" and is planning to go back to using her real name, "Danny DeVito"

   I used to like Kim Kardashian...until she became a publicity squealin boar. Now I just think she's had her 15 minutes and really needs to stop selling photos and stupid stories to magazines. You lost me at "I'm so annoyed...!!!"

   ✔ Saddam Hussein ✔ Osama Bin Ladden ✔ Moammar Gadhafi ✔Kim Jong IL ❒ Fidel Castro ❒ Hugo Chavez ❒ Justin Beiber

   Relax guys, I'm pretty sure Kim Jong died a long time ago when he jumped off the Empire State Building.

   Team America World Police is officially a period piece.

   Kim "Chinky Chang Small Wang Jong" is dead :D

   Night night Kim Jong Il you little Chinky B*stard

   Never apologize for expressing how you feel, Its like saying you're sorry for being real

   Decided this year I'm replacing the milk and cookies tradition with manly reach around. Just to see if that would get SANTA'S attention.

   I dropped my laptop in the ocean,, now a dell is rolling in the deep.