Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon If everything goes as planned, by this time next year, I will have had a tremendous amount of work done.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 17:37 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Starbucks has the best coffee of any homeless shelter I've ever been to.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 17:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Texting 'LOL' is probably the most widespread lie of the 21st century.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 16:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey adorable couples who constantly profess your love for each other via Facebook, learn how to text.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 16:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Billion dollar idea: bacon flavored weight loss pills.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 16:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon That grandma that got run over by a reindeer was lucky she never lived to hear the terrible Christmas song they wrote about her.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 16:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Talk to your grandparents about the dangers of sexting.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 16:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon n't it nice that soon Justin Bieber will go through puberty, Twilight will end, & Mr.Potter's gone? Everything's going to be normal again
←Rate | 12-07-2011 16:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yeah let's clone some sheep cause dinosaurs would be too awesome." - Scientists.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 16:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm just like Rebecca Black...it takes me until Friday to decide whether I'm sitting in the front or back seat.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 15:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rudolph is the only reindeer who doesn't have a stripper name.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 15:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One day I wanna copy someone's status word for word and see if they notice.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 15:48 by Fat Alec Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Discovery Channel is filming a new series about my ex-wife. It is called Deadliest Snatch
←Rate | 12-07-2011 15:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm trying not to judge, but your silver front teeth scream "Medi-Cal".
←Rate | 12-07-2011 15:42 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon "i don't really like blow ups... they just don't do it for me." -overheard in the Christmas inflatables section of Target
←Rate | 12-07-2011 15:35 by JaxWylde Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I could do a back flip you'd know it because that's how I would exit every room.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 15:29 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon If my girlfriend f*cked liked she whines, I would be the luckiest guy ever.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 14:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if men had periods, would they brag about the size of their tampons?
←Rate | 12-07-2011 14:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always be true to yourself. But feel free to lie to everyone else as needed.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 14:15 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anybody that says "I don't know what I did to deserve this" knows exactly what they did to deserve it.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 14:14 Comments (0)  




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