Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I like how none of the "robbers" on that Vonage commercial are black. Way to dodge that bullet, Vonage.

   I really don't see why Conrad Murray is going to prison for what he did. House pulls crap like that all the time

   Count Chocula, the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man and the Teddy Grahams Bear perish in house fire. S'more at eleven.

   Japanese has so many characters, their alphabet soup comes in two separate cans.

   just opened an envelope with one of those 'glittery' Christmas cards inside, it looks like a unicorn just jizzed in my lap

   Googled "What women want" and a photo of me was shown.

   Whenever I get a Christmas present that I don't want, I hold onto it and give it to someone else as their birthday gift.

   Its never too early to start drinking on Christmas day :)

   first Farrah Fawcett, then Michael Jackson, now Kim Jong Il. all of my bedroom wall poster idols are dead

   Not feeling the Christmas spirit? Go elf yourself!

   first it was Farrah Fawcett, then Michael Jackson, now Kim Jong Il. all of my bedroom wall poster idols are dead

   might apply for Kim Jong-il's job... I've always fancied a KOREA in politics !!!

   Imagine how much lag they had 2000 years ago: it took Jesus 3 days to respawn.

   Ding Dong Kim Jong is Dead

   "Is Kim Jong IL ? "No He's DEAD !!!

   A sure way to be disappointed is to trust easily without verifying.

   Okay future girlfriend, you can stop playing hide and seek now.

   I googled "what women want" and my computer crashed......

   So apparently when you get pulled over around Christmas and the cop asks "Do you know why I pulled you over sir" The incorrect answer is "You know how important of a person I am and you figured this would be the only chance you would get to wish me a Merr

   Obama was right about North Korean, no need to go to war to remove Dictator Kim Jong .