Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon admits that the Nazis were terrible, but look on the bright side: At least we got some awesome Indiana Jones movies out of it.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 01:49 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon undefeated at BattleShip. Mostly because I stack my ships on top of one another.
←Rate | 12-30-2011 01:48 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Out with the Old, in with the New.......not you Honey.....I meant the year.....had enough of 2011......:)
←Rate | 12-30-2011 00:01 by Pat G Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls need to start looking for guys who have goals, ambitions, and an education because 10 years from now "swag" isn't going to pay the bills.
←Rate | 12-29-2011 23:55 by A Comments (3)  


   messageicon I remember the days when all my "good stuff" fit in a Sucrets box.
←Rate | 12-29-2011 23:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm at Muppet labs with Dr Honeydew and Beaker trying to come up with a cure for dance fever. It's going well, although we've accidentally blown up Beaker 3 times. He's such a trooper.
←Rate | 12-29-2011 22:55 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Find a girl you hate on Facebook. Go through all her summer photos and comment LOL on all the ones of her in a bikini. So fun. Not illegal.
←Rate | 12-29-2011 22:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gold Digger - like a hooker, only smarter.
←Rate | 12-29-2011 21:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon doing something weird and thinking, this is why I'm not in a relationship.
←Rate | 12-29-2011 21:32 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure the best thing about Facebook is the ability to read other people's fights.
←Rate | 12-29-2011 21:32 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't feel to high & mighty about yourself sweetheart, cause at the end of the day, your still like a penny ` two faced & worthless.
←Rate | 12-29-2011 21:30 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon This dude working at Subway is looking at me like he's never had anybody ask him to put some Government Cheese on a sub sandwich before.
←Rate | 12-29-2011 20:59 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry, I can't hangout. My uncle's cousin's sister in law's best friend's insurance agent's roommate's pet goldfish died. Maybe next time..
←Rate | 12-29-2011 20:26 by Twistvenue Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know what would really be epic? If people would stop using the work epic when describing things that actually aren't.
←Rate | 12-29-2011 20:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing like sitting back and watching the people who stabbed you in the back fall apart.
←Rate | 12-29-2011 19:15 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon HOW can dogs sniff out bombs, save a guy from drowning, keep you from walking into traffic, but CANT figure out how to UNWRAP themselves from around a tree!
←Rate | 12-29-2011 19:01 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most relationships fail not because the absence of love, but because girls love to much and guys love to many.
←Rate | 12-29-2011 18:58 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good girls get presents at Christmas. Bad girls get presents all year long.
←Rate | 12-29-2011 18:55 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon watching Home Alone 2 wondering how child services haven't taken him away from his parents yet.
←Rate | 12-29-2011 18:54 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
←Rate | 12-29-2011 18:14 by MTQ Comments (0)  




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