Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   You won't regret the men you never killed, but you will regret the women you passed up.

   Since Wikipedia is in blackout today, in protest of online anti-piracy laws, can anyone tell me where the G-Spot is?

   anyone else worried that if Wikipedia goes black, it'll never go back?

   there really a benefit to listening to a Hip Hop CD in shuffle mode?

   BREAKING: Internet Blackout Forces Millions to Interact with Other People

   People who create their own drama, deserve their own karma

   Here's a bit of advice: advi

   FACEBOOK: Where sluts complain about other sluts being sluts.

   Watching a funny movie after a scary one to try to reduce the risk of nightmares.

   I am still wondering when exactly do I become an adult?

   I drink heavily on the weekends so I can be able to deal with my workmates during the week.

   Found my wife's vibrator the other day. Now I'm not saying it was big but I'm seriously thinking about entering it in Robot Wars.

   Walking around with a clipboard and suit on..Makes me feel very important...Even tho I'm not doing anything besides just walking around.

   Uh oh. Wikipedia is going black that means it's never coming back.

   SOPA: Stop Oversighting Public Activity!

   If someone says they "rescued" a dog, immediately kidnap it so they can perform another heroic rescue, since they're into that.

   A lady working at our bank walks with the cutest limp ever. I often fantasize about her naked, walking in a big counter clockwise circle.

   Facebook is STILL insisting that I might know Fred Savage. What- do they think I'm a goddamn superhero or something?!

   Limbo, Gluttony, Greed, Anger, Heresy, Violence, Fraud, Treachery - The eight circles of hell when visiting a Walmart. Lust is at Best Buy.

   Wait, it's "let it go"? I thought it was, "If you love something, drop it off a building." Boy, have I been doing that wrong.