snow OR flurries OR winter Funny Status Messages

   "We be bobsleddin'." The Winter Olympics Bobsled Team

   So irritating that my kid gets a text to tell him school is closed for snow day. He should have to stare at the news channel crawl for 45 minutes like I did

   Winter storm named Grayson sounds like it should be wearing a tweed jacket

   One good thing about this winter snow storm, is it makes my lawn look as good as my neighbors.

   So cold don's toupee flew south for the winter

   Lefties eat yellow snow on Winter Solstice.

   I must be getting old. Since when does 2 to 4 inches of snow become a winter storm warning? Back when I was a kid, we just called flurries, and we complained it wasn't enough to even have a good snowball fight, let along close schools.

   This is the first good sized snow fall of the season and honestly the weather on TV is acting like the terrorism threat levels just moved up a two.

   How was the winter solstice? I missed it because the stores were out of solstice glasses

   it safe to take off my Winter Solstice Glasses yet?

   I waited too long.. The stores ran out of winter solstice glasses.

   Russia’s been barred from the 2018 Winter Olympics. No word yet on whether they’ll be barred from the 2018 U.S. elections.

   Global Warming must be true, it seems a lot of snow flakes are melting this year.

   It looks like everyone wants Jon Snow to play NFL...he wont bend a knee

   I don't need drugs to have a good time. But I do need them to focus, avoid depression, survive winter, fall asleep, stay awake, control my blood pressure, calm myself down, and to avoid choking the hell out of stupid people.

   * A russian couple, Rudolf & Tosha are driving home. Tosha: Looks like it's starting to snow. Rudolf: It's rain. Tosha: no I think it's snow. Rudolf: Rudolf the "red" knows rain dear.

   Don't eat the green snow!!!

   Winter seems more like a booty call than a three-month relationship.

   A terrible waitress asked me for a tip last night.... I said don't make snow angels at dog parks.......

   If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren't there hot chocolate trucks in the winter?