Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Since the Superbowl likes to promote has-been artists, I take it we'll be seeing Justin Bieber in next year's half time show

   Hey Bellichoke let em walk in the endzone, you f#ck...

   The Book of ELI, was opened in the Fourth Quarter of the SuperBowl!!!!

   lol :57 sec left- this is going to be the longest 2 hours ever

   Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package...

   I may not be the best, but I'm definitely not like the rest!

   Dear haters, I couldn`t help but notice that "awesoME" ends with "me" and "Ugly" starts with "U".

   Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back...

   A person who says they will never lie to you is probably lying already

   I must need glasses because everywhere I look, people seem to have two faces!

   What Woodstock 1969 tought us is that life isn`t about waiting for the storm to pass, it`s about learning to dance in the rain...

   Some women should realize that they've lost the moon while trying to count the stars…

   If you don`t like something, change it. If you can`t change it, change your attitude. Don`t complain...

   Friend: "Your phone`s ringing." Me: "Yeah, phones do that..."

   Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

   why is Betty White singing at halftime of the Super Bowl??

   Wondering if I can purchase "I'm Sixty and I know it" by LMFAO & Madonna on ITunes.

   If anybody slips and falls down at mid field in the second half I'm blaming the sweat that dripped from Madonna's vag.

   I had no idea Joan Rivers could sing!"

   NFL: "Madonna's message of 'world peace' does not reflect the views of the National Football League"