Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Wow, that one was so bad, all four cats left the room.

   enjoy the Patriots shirts, Kenya

   No better way to kick off a Monday then to defend a sweet elderly women from a crabby ass "Douchebag", who clearu has no respect for the humankind!!!

   Thank god there wasn't a wardrobe malfunction at this year's Superbowl.

   Climbed aboard the dream weaver train.

   Instead of calling it a "Gatorade Shower" we should call it "Electrolyte Bukkake"

   Emergency call: "911, What is your emergency?" "Two girls are fighting over me!" "So what's the problem sir?" "The ugly one is winning..."

   I really hate being Bi-Polar. It's fantastic! ):)

   Seriously.. Shouldnt the etrade baby be like 7 by now?

   you know....right now I'm pretty disgusted with MIA....OH, not for giving America the finger....but because we were >this< close to forgetting her annoying ass ever existed....

   Do people that sell chairs give out stool samples?

   so....I think if you win The Voice, you should get to motorboat Christina Aguilera....but, to be fair, if you lose....you have to motorboat Cee Lo Green....

   Betty white to preform at next yrs Superbowl ...

   Everyone is the same color when the lights are off......

   It's pretty sad when the highlight of a three hour football game is out staged by a red m&m."

   Everyone was touching and kissing the trophy. I was just waiting for someone to hump the damn thing.

   all that Tebowing didnt even get him into the super bowl

   bill belichek is still in the locker room crying like a b1tch so no interview from him till tomorrow Lmao

   that old woman walking around with the trophy is killing me lol wonder if she even knows whats going on, or if she just smiling cause she went number 2...

   Patroits must have been in charge of the commercials this year, cuz THEY SUCKED!