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My dad would be so mad if he knew how loud my tv is right now.
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06-01-2020 12:25
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If science is so great why do we only have one vegetable on the cob
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06-01-2020 12:24
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My body is the result of thousands of pull ups. Pull up to the donut shop Pull up to the drive thru window Pull up results for “nearest pizza buffet”
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06-01-2020 12:23
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When a Star Trek baddie suffers cardiac arrest, and you have defibrillator paddles right there, what do you do? Shock a Khan. Shock a Khan.
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06-01-2020 12:23
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Top 5 Zones 5 – Twilight 4 – O 3 – End 2 – In the 1- Cal
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06-01-2020 12:20
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Not a big conspiracy theory guy but I’m convinced that Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars are made by Dyson.
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06-01-2020 12:19
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[on Shark Tank] me: I believe you’ve misheard me –I said “nonstick PANTS”
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06-01-2020 12:15
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A bar and a bra , both drive men crazy when they open .
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06-01-2020 12:12
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eharmony just matched me with a dozen donuts
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06-01-2020 12:11
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Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be looters. Because the mamas who let their babies grow up to be cowboys are gonna have them kick your babies' sorry a$$es.
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06-01-2020 09:34 by
Fazzy
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Thinking of getting a portable hand held air horn to help remind people not wearing a mask to keep away from me.
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06-01-2020 00:11
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Somewhere Dr. Fauci is screaming that we must limit the stores to 10 looters at a time.
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05-31-2020 20:58
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"Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam
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05-31-2020 09:49
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Looting continues across the country. Police report no work boots stolen yet.
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05-31-2020 06:00
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To the austronauts left for space today, can you bring back another planet?
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05-31-2020 01:17
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So riots are part of phase one of the reopening?
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05-31-2020 00:15
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Stealing TVs and looting stores is NOT justice.
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05-30-2020 20:58
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Congratulations to the astronauts that left Earth today. Good choice.
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05-30-2020 20:58
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On the bright side, All the rioters are wearing mask.
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05-30-2020 20:57
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A Short Story: Once upon a time, a man asked a woman to marry him. She said no and they lived happily ever after.
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05-30-2020 19:22
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