Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 3940 of 6446

"What comes after the letter T?" Normal People: "U" Me: "Wait. A, B, C, D, E, F, G....."
←Rate |
02-19-2012 15:57 by @DonSicks
Comments (0)

C.L.A.S.S = Come Late And Start Sleeping.
←Rate |
02-19-2012 15:56 by @DonSicks
Comments (0)

Who says I can't cook? You've obviously never tasted my cereal!
←Rate |
02-19-2012 15:55 by @DonSicks
Comments (0)

Teacher : "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!?!?!" - Student: "Are you asking me out? O_O"
←Rate |
02-19-2012 15:55 by @DonSicks
Comments (0)

Dear radio stations, You do know there are more than 5 songs in the world, right? Sincerly annoyed listeners.
←Rate |
02-19-2012 15:53 by @DonSicks
Comments (0)

Life is s( o )( o ) much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
←Rate |
02-19-2012 15:29 by @DonSicks
Comments (0)

So I met this prostitute who said she'd do anything for $20. Guess who got their homework done. ;)
←Rate |
02-19-2012 15:28 by @DonSicks
Comments (0)

I don't know what Squidward's problem is. I would love to live next to SpongeBob!
←Rate |
02-19-2012 15:27 by @DonSicks
Comments (0)

What if were all dead and this is our hell?

going to celebrate President's day by chopping down a cherry tree to make Lincoln Logs.
←Rate |
02-19-2012 13:49
Comments (0)

Am I the only one that finds it ironic that only one company is allowed to make the game Monopoly...
←Rate |
02-19-2012 13:36 by migasjoe
Comments (0)

Fact: You can burn up to 10 calories a minutes while having sex... Related: Looking for a workout partner.
←Rate |
02-19-2012 13:36
Comments (0)

Yes I would like to receive special offers via e-mail. That way I can forward them to my friends and piss them off.
←Rate |
02-19-2012 13:26
Comments (0)

If a resturant describes any off its food items as "Our world famous....", it isn't.
←Rate |
02-19-2012 13:24
Comments (0)

Ladies: You know by saying you want a man who is good in bed implies that you are also good in bed right??
←Rate |
02-19-2012 13:05
Comments (0)

My Dr, told me you are what you eat. I need to eat a skinny person.
←Rate |
02-19-2012 13:00
Comments (0)

called your boyfriend gay, and he marked up my car with lipstick.
←Rate |
02-19-2012 12:55 by jitney
Comments (0)

Your face isn't a coloring book. Chill on the makeup!!
←Rate |
02-19-2012 12:37 by CJ
Comments (0)

Family Rule: Always give the first pancake to the person you dislike the most in your household.

getting a tat of your kids faces is a great idea, as you get saggy and wrinkly it creates a free age progression for them
←Rate |
02-19-2012 11:35
Comments (0)