Dani Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful!
←Rate | 10-18-2011 18:25 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're not yourself today... I noticed the improvement immediately!!
←Rate | 10-02-2011 12:47 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon With everything going on lately... I've got a lot of serious thinking to do! Oops....Did I say "Thinking".... I meant "Drinking"!!
←Rate | 10-18-2011 18:17 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
←Rate | 10-18-2011 18:21 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon I decided to take an aerobics class. I bent... twisted... gyrated... jumped up and down... and perspired for a half an hour. But by the time I got my tights on.... the class was over!
←Rate | 10-02-2011 16:27 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a man says something in the woods and there is no woman there to hear him.... is he still wrong?!
←Rate | 10-04-2011 12:18 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dress to kill.... and have been told I cook the same way!
←Rate | 10-02-2011 12:45 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was asked if I liked blowing bubbles... but I am not sure. Who is Bubbles?!
←Rate | 09-30-2011 13:42 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've learned that no matter how much I try... how much I care... or how much I do...... some people are just @ssholes!
←Rate | 10-18-2011 18:26 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who am I calling stupid?? Good question.... What's your name?!
←Rate | 10-02-2011 12:49 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not drunk, all right. I just have a speech impediment ... and a stomach virus ... and an inner ear infection.
←Rate | 10-18-2011 18:20 by Dani Comments (1)  


   messageicon You know you have an awesome bra... when you can do the entire 'Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes' song.... with just a slight adjustment of the shoulder straps!
←Rate | 10-22-2012 16:37 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you think you could drive better if I shoved that cell phone up your @ss? Talk or Drive... PICK ONE!!
←Rate | 10-26-2011 12:32 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon What makes you laugh... might surely make someone else laugh. And with laughter... comes smiles... and with smiles... comes happiness! It can be that simple!
←Rate | 01-16-2012 01:18 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon If ignorance is bliss... there are some really orgasmic people out there!!!
←Rate | 09-26-2011 20:55 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know a million ways to always pick the wrong thing to say! Hey... I'm multi-talented!! I can talk and piss you off at the same time!
←Rate | 10-18-2011 18:23 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon My hubby is on suicide watch ... All because I reminded him that we vowed to be together 'Til Death do us part'!
←Rate | 01-30-2012 17:41 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon I sound so good singing after a couple drinks, that my neighbors even called the cops to come and hear me too!
←Rate | 09-29-2011 15:17 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is so nice that so many people have learned the golden rule "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". The unfortunate part is... no one talks to anyone anymore!
←Rate | 04-17-2012 14:12 by Dani Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women like silent men... they think they're listening!
←Rate | 10-20-2011 13:16 by Dani Comments (0)  



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