Funny Status Messages

   How do you know if someone doesn't watch the Superbowl? Don't worry they'll announce it on Facebook!

   You notice how I don't stick a million bumper stickers and flags, with a man's name on it, on my car like a f-ing weirdo?

   Just like CVS, I too can be your Plan B on Valentine’s Day for $48

   They should have gone with the original Superbowl halftime show plan with Melania dancing on the pole. She's a better and experienced pole dancer than the Weeknd as a singer.

   The Weeknd should change his name to Monday Morning 'cause that's how bad he s_cks.

   sellin 2nd chances $100 hmu lmk.

   For the first time in my life, I did not welcome The Weekend.

   This alphabet soup that I spilled on the floor is still more coherent than most Biden speeches.

   And this morning a container ship will depart for some third world country, loaded with Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl LV Champions gear. Enjoy your Chiefs gear, Kenya...

   Did I miss the Superbowl again? Darn that's like 20 years in a row.

   Not sure if I just watched the Superbowl or a three hour commercial?

   Dr fauci just announced we all have to wear jock straps now to stop the spread of covid

   SB halftime show: Forget honesty, forget creativity, forget originality. In these days and times, the only thing these "fans" want is formulaic pablum served on a steamy silver platter of ad nauseam.

   Super bowl sucked I guess we should blame Trump for that too.... haha

   Wonder how many wife's the guy who giving marriage tips has gone through?

   There’s an alternate universe some place where Hoobastank is the halftime show.

   Everybody enjoy the Social Justice hour before kickoff?

   Aliens probably ride past Earth and lock their doors.

   Today, I feel sorry for the poor saps who decided to boycott the NFL, four years ago, just because of stupidity.

   The GOP has now turned into the GQP, and this is why I'm out!