love Funny Status Messages

   Whenever I watch TV and see those poor, starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.

   When someone you love walks away, they take your entire world with them.

   It's not a crime scene if it was an act of love. Everyone knows that.

   You may not love me now, but vodka.

   Some idiot just told me to "Take a hike" as if I don't love nature and finding inner strength through solitude

   I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close.

   Hey dad, where are mountain lions from?... *dad panics*... Uhh...you see, son, when a mountain and a lion love each other very much...

   I love Chinese food as much as the next guy,,, but you'll never convince me a chicken fried this rice.

   If attacked by a bear you should play dead. If that doesn't work play "Total Eclipse Of The Heart". Bears love that song.

   Contrary to popular belief, cats actually love water. You just have to set them on fire first.

   Love is in the air. Try not to breathe.

   I want to be loved like white guys love khaki shorts

   You all need to listen to Ray Rice cover Aerosmith's "Love in an Elevator". Its going to be a bit hit.

   For over 20 years, I thought Bon Jovi gave love a Band-Aid

   Wanna hear a joke? Your love life.

   If I'm ever in a coma, please don't try to wake me. I'm doing what I love.

   Amongst all the beautiful women in this world.. There's always an idiot ex-boyfriend, who still expects her love again.

   Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my womans hair. It's a nice way to let her know my love,, and also that we're out of napkin

   Hey Spotify, safe for work does not translate to safe for my masculinity when Backstreet Boys - As Long As You Love Me, goes blaring through the shop. It probably didn't help that I knew all the words and the dance from the video either.

   Cavs agree to Love trade". Oh, so THAT'S how they can afford to pay both Lebron and Kyrie!