love Funny Status Messages

   No its not "cute", its actually quite slutty looking, and yes I love it!

   I was in a taxi on my way to work this morning when the driver said "I love my job. I'm my own boss and nobody tells me what to do!" I said "That's really great, now take a left here."

   Here's a tip for you travellers, when Def Leppard's Pour Some Sugar on Me comes on your ipod in the airport, DON'T sing along. I spent 12 hours explaining that I was just singing the lyrics "Love me like a bomb, b...b...b..bomb"

   I don't think I have enough money to find long everlasting love.

   If you have no love to be thankful for, at least be thankful for all those bullets you dodged.

   love yourself first. send yourself romantic texts. take yourself out on romantic dates. hold your hand in public as a show of affection.

   BREAKING NEWS: California becomes first state to ban plastic bags...People who love picking up dog crap with their bare hands rejoice.

   Whenever I watch TV and see those poor, starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.

   When someone you love walks away, they take your entire world with them.

   It's not a crime scene if it was an act of love. Everyone knows that.

   You may not love me now, but vodka.

   Some idiot just told me to "Take a hike" as if I don't love nature and finding inner strength through solitude

   I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close.

   Hey dad, where are mountain lions from?... *dad panics*... Uhh...you see, son, when a mountain and a lion love each other very much...

   I love Chinese food as much as the next guy,,, but you'll never convince me a chicken fried this rice.

   If attacked by a bear you should play dead. If that doesn't work play "Total Eclipse Of The Heart". Bears love that song.

   Contrary to popular belief, cats actually love water. You just have to set them on fire first.

   Love is in the air. Try not to breathe.

   I want to be loved like white guys love khaki shorts

   You all need to listen to Ray Rice cover Aerosmith's "Love in an Elevator". Its going to be a bit hit.