life Funny Status Messages
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Pro Life really just means Pro Being Born... on your own after that. 
.... HA! ..... Ya ..... It's all fun and games till you realize it isn't a video game ..... It is real life ......
It was revealed today that Obama will spend a half Billion bucks on his Presidential Historical Library. Question: If he has sequestered virtually every document from his past...SO...Why even build a historical Library about your life in the first place?
The stupidest, ugliest Presidential campaign in my entire life: House of Cards meets Sharknado...
The only woman in my life who regularly calls to see if I'm ok works at MasterCard.
Two things: 1) Where have you been all my life? 2) Can you please go back there?
My wife had me take out more life insurance and now there's no grip left on the bath mat. Weird?!?!
My Life Coach just explained to me that I've been in the placebo group.
A picture only captures a millisecond of a life. So at the end of the day, don't judge a person by their pics.
Whatever life throws at you, duck and let it hit someone else!
Can I get a Hell Yeah if you don't know what you're doing with your life and you don't get enough sleep.
When life knocks you down to your knees, remember that it's the perfect position to pray.
Sad to say this, Bernie campaign is on life support. Perhaps a GoFundMe page to revitalize his campaign might help...
If your parachute doesn't deploy don't worry, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
"Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen. " And you're a human being not a lobster?!
Hmmmmm,,,, Turns out all this time, I’ve been using a life couch instead of a life coach.
Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.
6 year old hosting a Lego funeral, "We must accept what comes to us. Gogo's death is one of the obstacles in life."
If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, its because you’re both heading in the same direction.
where's the CTRL, ALT and DELETE buttons on life? [Search Results] [View All Messages]
