santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Woke up - no Christmas gifts. I guess we all know which list Santa put me on.

   Well this morning I woke up in a box under my tree... I guess I should of been more specific when I told Santa "I want the sexiest person alive for Christmas"!

   All I want for Christmas is NO MORE GAME REQUESTS!!! Thank you!!

   Merry Christmas......now that this is out of the way....I can justify the rest of my day with alcohol and shenanigans.

   If I want to give someone a bottle of Scope for Christmas.....Would that be rude

   Dear Santa....I've been good for the last hour

   To all those who will received a book from me as a Christmas present this year....They are due back at the library in 2 days.

   I'm dreaming of a white christmas.. but not listen to bing crosby and then go out and and walk around singing to strangers white.

   It's only 5:00 PM, but I guess I better start my Christmas shopping. Liquor store, here I come.

   I'm surprised the whiny P.C. police haven't protested "A Christmas Story" yet; after all, it's about a boy who wants a gun for Xmas.

   I'm deaming of a white Christmas......but if the white runs out, I'll drink the Red.

   I. really hate when Grandma gets me underwear for Christmas-they are always. " I Won't Get Caught Dead In Whitey-Tightys!"

   On Christmas my brothers and sisters come over with all their ADHD kids, they all really love my Amphetamine Apple Pie!

   Christmas sure does smell a lot like weed.

   Holidays are way too commercialized now a days. Please keep in mind the true meaning of Christmas while and your loved ones put up Christmas lights that are currently 75% off at Walmart!!

   Ah, come on! It's Christmas Eve! I could be home right now, drinking this *monster* eggnog my brother makes with lighter fluid.

   Twas the morning before Christmas & all across Facebook, friends awake, houses aglitter. Coffee in hand pondering this day & the things that matter.....

   The way my kids freak out on Christmas morning, that's the way I feel right before I open my breakfast beer!

   I really hope that I don't get another sweater for Christmas. I'd much prefer a moaner or a screamer.

   Christmas is a race to seewhich gives out first your money or your feet.