love Funny Status Messages

   Day 12.. I haven't eaten apple in a week,, the doctors are slowly getting thru the barricade, I won't last very long, tell my family I love em

   You never have to worry about love at first sight if you steadfastly keep looking at your phone.

   You sure do seem to know a lot about love and relationships for someone who spends 22 hours a day on Facebook.

   I love it when I open the dryer door and money falls out instead of my cat .

   You think you love your family but suddenly there's three of you and one remaining slice of pizza.

   I love my kid but I'm still going to eat his fries when he goes to the bathroom then lie to his face about it.

   If I've learned anything from my 7-day Detox, it's that I love toxins.

   A guy at a stoplight angrily pointed and yelled at me, so I smiled at him and mouthed "I love this song too!"

   I do hateful things for which people love me, and I do lovable things for which they hate me. I'm admired for my detestability.

   If you love someone, keep drinking

   My friend said that he and his wife wanted to swing by this weekend. I said we'd love that. I hope he didn't mean they wanted to swing bi.

   I love when people comment on my winter weather from warm climates... "It's 80 here" and your inside on the Internet? Losers always lose

   Alcohol poisoning must suck. I can't imagine what it's like being poisoned by the one you love

   It's Earth Day. I love the earth. There is something about the Earth that makes me constantly gravitate towards it.

   if you love something let it go, if you don't love something definitely let it go. basically, just drop everything, who cares

   Don't be afraid to love again. Just kiddin. Be afraid, be very afraid.

   If love is a battlefield then I keep dying in basic training.

   Went from fallin' in love to drunk and fallin' apart

   Love is so sweet makes my heart beat ...My heart skip a beat

   I really want someone to love me unconditionally, but I really can’t afford a puppy right now.