Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Hold your mother today, she was the first to hold you, she held you for 9 months.

   A mother my have a thousand daughters but a daughter has only one mother

   Anybody can be a mother...and too many have no kids...and aren't women...so I wish you a Happy Mommy's Day!

   There's only one perfect child in the world; and every mother has it! Happy Mother's Day

   wants to wish everyone a happy Mother's Eve, not to be confused with Summer's Eve... a feminine hygiene product.

   Please give your Mother's an Extra Big Hug tomorrow for those who can no longer hug theirs here on earth... Cherish the Moment.

   Mother's Day Warning: You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

   the Pill, something that prevents women from becoming mothers turns 50 on Mother's Day. Coincidence??

   In about 50 years from now, tombstones will read 'Beloved Wife, Mother, Sister, Daughter, and Facebook friend

   being a mother is like Hotel California, you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave:S

   Kinda funny how a mother goes nuts when her China plates break, but a Chinese person would just make a new one.

   Tough decisions... Beat off in the shower and waste water or use Kleenex and add to landfill? What can I say? I love Mother Earth and big t*tties!!

   He always has the same expression on his face; “only a mother could love.”

   saw clash of the titans last night, my mother in law won the battle.

   I wonder how many bongs I can collect before my mother figures out they're not vases?

   My 4 year old son is running around saying "Yippie-Kay-Yay" and it's taking everything I've got to keep from yelling "Mother-Fucker!" Yeah, I think I may seen "Die Hard" too many times.

   Truth of life - Mother`s tears hit your heart and wife`s tears hit your pocket.

   you know you're getting old when you see a beautiful 19 year old girl and wonder what her mother looks like.

   Ahh Bud light the sweet lower calorie nectar made by mother nature

   Upon stubbing my toe while at my parents house, I yelled out "Mother Fucker!" at that my dad responded "Present!"... as gross as that was, I had to high five him.