Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?

   "Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother."

   When you first start dating a girl, they say to look at their Mother to see how they'll look as they age. However.....I feel very judgmental when their Mother is practically the same age as I am:)

   Nothing is sweeter than finding out that the cute boy who dumped you in the 12th grade lives in his mother's basement.

   The tag "in bed" that makes fortune cookies so funny, makes Mother's Day cards creepy. Just sayin' (uncle Bill!).

   Hold your mother today, she was the first to hold you, she held you for 9 months.

   A mother my have a thousand daughters but a daughter has only one mother

   Anybody can be a mother...and too many have no kids...and aren't women...so I wish you a Happy Mommy's Day!

   There's only one perfect child in the world; and every mother has it! Happy Mother's Day

   wants to wish everyone a happy Mother's Eve, not to be confused with Summer's Eve... a feminine hygiene product.

   Please give your Mother's an Extra Big Hug tomorrow for those who can no longer hug theirs here on earth... Cherish the Moment.

   Mother's Day Warning: You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

   the Pill, something that prevents women from becoming mothers turns 50 on Mother's Day. Coincidence??

   In about 50 years from now, tombstones will read 'Beloved Wife, Mother, Sister, Daughter, and Facebook friend

   being a mother is like Hotel California, you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave:S

   Kinda funny how a mother goes nuts when her China plates break, but a Chinese person would just make a new one.

   Tough decisions... Beat off in the shower and waste water or use Kleenex and add to landfill? What can I say? I love Mother Earth and big t*tties!!

   He always has the same expression on his face; “only a mother could love.”

   saw clash of the titans last night, my mother in law won the battle.

   I wonder how many bongs I can collect before my mother figures out they're not vases?