nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   When Jimmy Garoppolo said he watches a lot of film, I thought it was talking about football

   Yay! Now I can go back to saying the word "Soccer" without some pretentious fan reminding me that it's referred to as "Football" in other parts of the world.

   If football games begin with a kick-off, why don't hockey games begin with a puck-off?

   Sometimes I watch football holding an X-Box controller just to confuse people.

   Men at 20 play football, at 40 tennis, at 60 golf. Notice as they get older their balls get smaller.

   The Tide commercials during the Superbowl were not a hit with older folks but the kids are them up

   College football is important but a college education is importanter!

   Players of the Houston Texans football team took a knee during the national anthem Sunday. That...is...awesome!

   Who are the fallen soldiers more mad at (1) Football players who take a knee or (2) A sellout who hands over the presidency of America to Russian control?

   Uh, rah rah baseball people. Football season's begun. More You can stop now. Thanks.

   watching football the same way Colin Kaepernick does... sitting on my couch

   You know what would would solve the whole Kaepernick issue? If only he was a better football player...

   Dr: So, how did you dislocate your shoulder? Me: I panicked when the blood pressure machine at the store got tigh- I mean football..

   Patriots are going to the Superbowl....The NFL is going to assign someone to check Tom Brady's balls throughout the game....don't want that on my resume

   I just saw Luke Bryan is singing the National Anthem at the Superbowl. So I thought I'd post a preview for everyone....Oh Girl can you see by my pickup's headlights what so proudly we hail on the old dirt road ...

   ..... Congratulations Redblacks!!! ...... Wait a minute .... What the heck is a Redblack? ..... Answer: Another Underdog ..... Who just won the Grey Cup!!! ..... OK .... It's the Canadian (People that live north of the US) ..... version of the Superbowl.

   I wish there were no women football announcers. Isn't there a badminton channel they can get a gig with?

   When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.

   No one wants to watch your Facebook live video from your crappy seats at a football game.

   Waiting for everyone in this church service to bow their head in prayer so I can update my fantasy football roster.