friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Giving my liver a Rocky Balboa style pep talk for the upcoming weekend.

   Its friday night! Querentine facebook party going done on my wall tonight and your all invited!

   I’ll like to brag that after 12 Years of marriage, I still have sex with my wife almost every day! Almost on Monday Almost on Tuesday Almost on Wednesday Almost on Thursday Almost on Friday Almost on Saturday Almost on Sunday.!

   This is the first time in my life that am seeing a month without a weekend, everyday is everyday

   Roman Catholic dietary law classified aquatic mammals as fish rather than meat. therefore, you are free to eat beaver on Good Friday.

   This week's weather forcast...Monday: Room Temperature Tuesday: Room Temperature Wednesday: Room Temperature Thursday: Room Temperature Friday: Room Temperature

   The world all of a sudden feels like a casual stroll through a Chuck E. Cheese ball pit at the end of a busy weekend.

   I'm having a quarintine party this weekend. None of you are invited

   All professional sports are cancelled, and we aren't supposed to touch ourselves. Men who don't play video games are gonna have a lot of time to kill this weekend.

   I don't think of it as losing an hour of sleep this weekend. I think of it as being an hour closer to breakfast.

   I gained three pounds last weekend and I'm fairly certain the switch to daylight saving time has something to do with it.

   Reminder for this weekend..Avoid hangover.........stay drunk...

   Watching Friday the 13th. A load of awful make-up, on brain-dead zombies. Hang on Hang on..... Sorry, wrong channel that was "The View".

   My idea Black Friday is deleting everyone from my friends list who sent me a mass Happy Thanksgiving day meme yesterday.

   Black Friday. Or as it should be known: "Thanksgiving Is Over, We Now Return You To Your Self-Centered Lives Already In Progress."

   I'm thankful I won't have to go push and shove people on Black Friday the day after telling everyone on Facebook how thankful I was for everything I have.

   I had a colonoscopy on Friday. Just let me say there are some things you should never use a Groupon for.

   I see Black Friday is coming up and wondering who profits the most on that day? The people who are smart enough to stay home feeling thankful for everything they have the day after Thanksgiving?

   Canadian thanksgiving this weekend. Don’t forget to eat a beaver.

   I get home and change from casual Friday duds into even more comfortable clothes. Now I just look like melted cheese.