friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Today is Fat Tuesday, and of course, this being America, it will be followed by Even Fatter Wednesday, Obese Thursday and Fat-A$$ Friday.

   Can you smell that? That's fresh-brewed coffee mixed with Friday...delicious!

   The way I see it, EVERY Friday is Good Friday.

   I hope the one night stand was worth the free trip to TGI Friday's and the box of Whitman's Chocolates.

   February 15th. The Black Friday for Chocoholics.

   Valentine's Day weekend the G/F said she wanted to go somewhere expensive...So I took her to the Gas Station! ;)

   alone with the kids for the weekend. I have 18 hours of Pixar movies and a squirt gun full of high-fructose corn syrup. Should be fine.

   had a Black Out last night .........she was a very lovely girl so I asked her out again for next weekend

   My wife asked me "when youre on a boys weekend do you think of me?" apparently 'only to stop me coming too soon' was the wrong answer!

   Happy Friday dance ‎(((( ( • why • ) )))) shake'em

   Well, this is my favorite time of year! Coming up this weekend...on Friday and Saturday before super bowl, they will have the BEST free samples at Costco.

   Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it's only Tuesday.

   Knock knock. Who's there? Weekend! Weekend who? 'We can end' working for a couple of days thank you very much!!!

   Worked out for an hour. Ate two brownies. Somehow I am able to justify this because its Friday...

   In honor of it being Friday the 13th, whenever I hear a strange noise, I'm going to investigate it braless, and wearing cute panties.

   Ahhh yes! My favourite day of the year, Friday the 13th,, ,, just sharpened my machete and dusted off my goalie mask,, well, off to the lake, see you later!!

   Friday the 13th, eh? I bet there's a lot of killer parties going on tonight!

   12/21/12 falls on a Friday. Looks like the world's had enough of Rebecca Black.

   1-2 Freddy's coming for you... opps wrong movie! Happy Friday the 13th filled with horny teenagers and not machete wielding maniacs!!! ;)

   This Friday the 13th instead of Jason popping out of nowhere to kill us, Jennifer Hudson will sing about how much weight shes lost until we commit suicide.