friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Oh man, it's not the weekend yet? I can't wait to stand around in some empty bar watching a crummy band and having weak drinks.

   If you're not still a little drunk on Monday morning I'm not buying your good weekend story.

   Friday the 13th is such a bunch of crap..... hang on, going to go see what this guy in a hockey mask wants at the door.... it's not even hockey season, what an idiot.... brb

   ...the brain brings up the most beautiful thoughts while trying to sleep..."hey...when was the last time we discussed ghosts , haunted mansions and serial killers in hockey masks.."...Happy Friday 13th...

   It's Friday! Time to mute your conscience and party!

   Friday is my Second Favorite ''F'' Word!!!

   If its Friday night and she lifts up her skirt and her panties say Saturday. She is staying the night.

   Nothing screws up your Friday more than realizing it's only Tuesday.

   Anderson Cooper must have seen 'Magic Mike' this weekend.

   Well, the weekend certainly lived up to it's reputation.

   I'm never sure how much ball cleavage to show when I wear my Casual Friday Jean Shorts.

   Gay divorce proceedings - "You can have the belts, I want the shoes, we share the hair product and moisturizers. Weekend access for the dog"

   I guess I have to set my phone on OKC mode this weekend........No Rings!

   After the movie Magic Mike is released this weekend all the theatre seats are going to looks like snails crawled across them...

   It's Friday, Yay the weekends here...<BLINK> Monday? WTF?

   Friday: YES, ITS THE WEEKEND! *Blink* Monday: WTF just happened?!

   If I can just make it one more day without some kid that I've never seen before wishing me a happy father's day this weekend will be a success.

   Some folks will spend the weekend having fun and enjoying themselves. We call these people "Single".

   M̸o̸n̸d̸a̸y̸ T̸u̸e̸s̸d̸a̸y̸ W̸e̸d̸n̸e̸s̸d̸a̸y̸ T̸h̸u̸r̸s̸d̸a̸y̸ Friday Saturday Sunday

   I want to hold hands and waste friday nights with you while we both getting wasted.