Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I've been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea what the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button is for

   My imaginary friends can beat your real friends ....

   Monopoly has come out with a new version of its board game to commemorate President Obama.....all the properties have half their value and the money has been replaced with foodstamps

   I’m a social vegan. I avoid meet.

   I just got a copy of Santa's naughty list and it is almost identical to my frields list.

   I'm the man from Nantucket.

   Iran sends monkey into space, the UN needs to check that, they might be building a zoo up there!

   People who say marriage is only between a man and a woman underestimate my love for pizza.

   Sometimes I wonder if the weird guy I work with thinks I am the weird guy.

   Snow and cold weather does NOT mean there is no Climate Change. How stupid can people be

   Parents, I need some advice please. What's the right age to explain to children that FOX news isn't real? Thanks

   Kanye West?......I've never heard of her!

   Al Gore is an idiot!

   We are slaves to the NRA....take a moment today and remember Newtown's victims.....

   US and Chinese warships play game of chicken, Kim Jong said " hey you two.... Uncle!

   Megyn Kelly said "Jesus and Santa Claus are white" well if they weren't they live in Detroit and East St. Louis!

   Just got home and found all the doors and windows open everything gone! What kind of person does that to someones Advent calender?

   The truth is anyone who thinks we're still having global warming should look at what is happening in Egypt and realize that they're in DE-NILE. (Sorry I couldn't resist)

   Apparently someone is stabbed in Detroit every 54 secs. It must suck to be that guy.

   snow in Egypt in the dessert, Egyptian police report camel's slipping and sliding, Egyptian Utilities report all 25 customer's without power.