Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   My 9-year-old said I looked tired today and apparently becoming my mother has skipped a generation.

   Mother in law said if she was married to me, she’d poison my wine. I said if I was married to her, I’d drink it.

   My mother-in-law came over and made me dinner, and now I’m wondering if I should have married her instead.

   My daughter was eating a snack cake while her mother gave her a haircut. I said, "You're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She said, "I know, daddy. And I'm gonna get b00bies too!"

   I always sharpen my guest bed of nails before my mother-in-law comes to visit.

   Mother Nature gave man a set of balls solely to propagate the species. God gave man a set of balls solely for scratching.

   In the next verse of the song, the mother of the 5 Little Monkeys receives a massive doctor’s bill.

   As a mother, I knew one day I would have to deal with the issue of bullying. I just didn’t think it would happen so soon and to my fish.

   Looking at pictures of myself as a kid taken just after my mother cut my bangs makes me wonder what she used to mix in her Tang.

   Ted Mosby, in the year 2030, told the story of how he met his children’s mother and HE NEVER MENTIONED THE CORONAVIRUS ONCE

   Your sister wives’ moms are technically mother-in-against-the-laws

   Let’s join our hands together and pray for my husband who very tragically compared me to my mother.

   My 72 year-old mother just informed me she is going to her first “sex party” and doesn’t know what to bring. After some delicate questioning, “Gender Reveal, Mom. It’s called a Gender Reveal.”

   My 72 year-old mother just informed me she is going to her first “sex party” and doesn’t know what to bring. After some delicate questioning, “Gender Reveal, Mom. It’s called a Gender Reveal.”

   Mother's Day is over, back to making sandwiches.

   Lots of mothers are gonna be surprised when their Mother's Day gift is a barrel of oil

   Every time I’m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.

   The day my mother learned how to use emojis was the day I realized how good we had it with rotary phones

   I'm glad the earth is solving our over-population problem. Keep it up, mother earth.

   When I was a little kid I was under so much pressure when Smokey the Bear said "Only YOU can prevent forest fires!" until my mother explained that I really didn't have to do it alone.