Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages
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Mother Nature gave man a set of balls solely to propagate the species. God gave man a set of balls solely for scratching.
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11-18-2020 22:14 by Fazzy
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In the next verse of the song, the mother of the 5 Little Monkeys receives a massive doctor’s bill.
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11-02-2020 10:01
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As a mother, I knew one day I would have to deal with the issue of bullying. I just didn’t think it would happen so soon and to my fish.
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10-21-2020 09:47
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Looking at pictures of myself as a kid taken just after my mother cut my bangs makes me wonder what she used to mix in her Tang.
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09-30-2020 15:46
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Ted Mosby, in the year 2030, told the story of how he met his children’s mother and HE NEVER MENTIONED THE CORONAVIRUS ONCE
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08-07-2020 09:03
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Your sister wives’ moms are technically mother-in-against-the-laws
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07-06-2020 12:34
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Let’s join our hands together and pray for my husband who very tragically compared me to my mother.
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06-29-2020 10:01
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My 72 year-old mother just informed me she is going to her first “sex party” and doesn’t know what to bring. After some delicate questioning, “Gender Reveal, Mom. It’s called a Gender Reveal.”
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06-19-2020 08:30
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My 72 year-old mother just informed me she is going to her first “sex party” and doesn’t know what to bring. After some delicate questioning, “Gender Reveal, Mom. It’s called a Gender Reveal.”
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06-17-2020 15:14
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Mother's Day is over, back to making sandwiches.
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05-11-2020 13:29
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Lots of mothers are gonna be surprised when their Mother's Day gift is a barrel of oil
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04-20-2020 17:36 by Hirit
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Every time I’m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
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04-19-2020 11:12
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The day my mother learned how to use emojis was the day I realized how good we had it with rotary phones
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04-17-2020 13:06
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I'm glad the earth is solving our over-population problem. Keep it up, mother earth.
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03-22-2020 12:23
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When I was a little kid I was under so much pressure when Smokey the Bear said "Only YOU can prevent forest fires!" until my mother explained that I really didn't have to do it alone.
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02-18-2020 13:19
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Dilemma: Watching your mother inlaw driving towards a cliff in your brand new car.
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01-29-2020 20:38 by STARMAN
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it rude to start asking my mother-in-law for daily child care fees? Her child is a handful and I don't work for free.
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01-22-2020 11:38
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[reviewing security cam footage to see what's eating out of my trash at night] mother of god it's me
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01-19-2020 08:42
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This year my mother gave my son a drum set for Christmas. Which surprised me. I said to her don't you remember how you hated it when I played the drums when I was a kid? She replyed with a smile , I remember.
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01-11-2020 19:06 by Starman
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*My mother inlaw is so old, that she has an autograph copy of the Bible.
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01-05-2020 05:17
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