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Page: 1939 of 6446
People in love use phrases like “takes my breath away” and “swept me off my feet”. I think they’re confusing love with attempted murder.
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05-23-2014 21:41 by
BEGO
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Kimye.......................In other news there is still a plane missing folks!!
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05-23-2014 21:06
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You will unlikely ever be the oldest person on the planet, but for a brief moment you held the record for the youngest.
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05-23-2014 19:27 by
mikem
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“GM’s alive and bin Laden’s dead” Wait a minute……
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05-23-2014 19:12
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“I don't judge you because your opinion differs from mine. I judge you because your opinion is imbecilic.” Yours or mine?!
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05-23-2014 18:53
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I renamed my Ancestry.com file folder to Edit DNA to mess with archaeologists in the future...
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05-23-2014 18:48 by
JC
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Living life with the safety off.
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05-23-2014 14:56
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take the d out of a bandana and you get a banana but if you put the d in a banana you get asked to leave the supermarket
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05-23-2014 14:38
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Beat it. Beat it. No one wants to be defeated. Shongda hupfucky. Homga shuntvight. It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right.
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05-23-2014 14:37
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*introduces girlfriend to dad* “what are your intentions with my son? I hope you don’t want to turn his shirts into pyjamas then leave him”
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05-23-2014 14:35
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Nothing has ever bothered me more than when a math question ended with “how many people does it take?” and your answer had a fraction.
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05-23-2014 14:34 by
Czovczov
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I was so ugly as a child that the local pedophile used to eat his own candy.
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05-23-2014 13:56
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Jesus take the wheel I'm taking a selfie.
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05-23-2014 13:53
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Young man, does your mother know you ask girls for nudes on social media?
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05-23-2014 13:21
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Being an Atheist isn't a choice. It is merely a side effect of being highly intelligent.
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05-23-2014 13:17
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"Just be yourself" doesn't work if you suck.
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05-23-2014 13:16
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Some people are like a surprise package. You never know what you are gonna get with them.
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05-23-2014 13:15
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I know many Idiot Savants, just not with the Savant part.
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05-23-2014 11:28 by
KPiccolo
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I tried killing a spider with glitter body spray. Now it won't stop stripping and I have to call it Cinnamon.
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05-23-2014 10:23 by
Baddie
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I'm so sick of all these Happy videos that I am really starting to get depressed.
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05-23-2014 10:15
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