Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   The World Cup needs a shot of grape Kool-Aid.

   In World Cup news, the England team visited an orphanage in Brazil today. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope," said Jose, age 6...

   Marriage. The world's oldest form of identity theft.

   Imagine us on a date. Wrong. You're on fire.

   What do tornadoes and divorce in the south have in common? .. Either way, someone's losing a trailer.

   Fathers day + My Birthday.. now thats what I call Sonday

   Landon Donovan post match interview in 2010 is the finest example of what we can expect from team USA in the beautiful game.

   I'm surprised the U.S. world cup team isn't playing Chris Brown... he can really soccer...

   Tim Berners-Lee from Britain invented the world wide web/internet giving millions of idiots from all countries to argue about games that they don't ever play themselves.

   Us Yanks play "soccer." We call it "kickball" and play it in elementary school.

   I don't recall any NFL fans ever crying in their beer about no 3rd world fans showing up for the tailgate party.

   NFL RULES..... should just accept the the fact that nobody outside USA cares about a game where you run and carry a ball dressed in more padding than a Telly-tubby. :)

   I must've missed the end where they all eat orange slices and drink capri suns...

   If I hear that Happy song one more time I think I'm going to cry.

   Pro tip: Guys, always be Frank with your sex partners. After all, you really don't want them to know your real name.

   If you could dribble your opponent or pass the one blocking your way, without grabbing him, then tell me soccer needs no skill; you don't like it every time you suck and are eliminated.

   I'm glad soccer is not a sport screwed up with wearing loads of pads, big bellies, giving injuries to other opponents by brute force, run for one second and call themselves talented.

   Why is it called ''beauty sleep'' when you wake up looking like a troll??

   If Wil.i.ams' tomb stone doesn't say "Wil.i.was" I will be highly disappointed.

   The only thing this world cup is missing is the vuvuzella! Said no one ever