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Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
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06-06-2014 16:17
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My sister just walked in from the pool wearing her new bathing suit...a dyed black parachute.
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06-06-2014 15:57 by
Michael F
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If your other half is being cold, try setting them on fire, it never fails
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06-06-2014 15:40
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The average human walks 900 miles per year and drinks 22 gallons of beer. This means the average human gets 41 miles per gallon. Not Bad.
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06-06-2014 15:26 by
DragonJC
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So last night the spurs beat the heat. Oh and they beat Miami too
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06-06-2014 14:42 by
Caso
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The thing I love about my ex is she didn't take up much space in the trunk.
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06-06-2014 14:24
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I've been waking up with a headache for years Unfortunately I'm married to it.
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06-06-2014 12:31
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This empty wallet looks like I'll be laughing obnoxiously at some guy's awful jokes in a bar tonight.
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06-06-2014 12:24
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Officer: can I see your driver's licence please madam? Me: I have a driver's licence?
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06-06-2014 12:21
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Know what's sexy? Not waking me up.
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06-06-2014 12:20
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On your deathbed tell everyone "pray for me" thenmake sure to leave a note to be opened after youdie that says "pray harder next time."
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06-06-2014 12:20
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I hate the fact I can't slam the door on my cubicle.
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06-06-2014 12:12 by
Baddie
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I'm time zone intolerant...
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06-06-2014 12:06
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Irony: The Vatican owns enough treasures that could end world poverty. Twice.
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06-06-2014 11:53
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Too bad NY was wasted on New Yorkers
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06-06-2014 10:11 by
JCW
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So, the AC went out in game 1 of the NBA Finals. Spurs won. I guess The Heat couldn't take the heat.
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06-06-2014 10:00 by
Michael F
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Canadian bacon is just bacon with good healthcare and a strong sense of national pride.
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06-06-2014 09:32
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What if firemen acted like policemen and just drove around shooting water at anyone who looked like they might catch on fire?
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06-06-2014 09:29
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Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. But keep your bacon far away from me or I will eat it. This is your last warning.
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06-06-2014 09:21
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I woke up and I couldn't walk at 1st so I thought I had really bad cramps but then I realized I was just Lebroning!
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06-06-2014 08:57
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